Hi bglivoti!
I remember reading 1984 during the summer prior to my freshman year of HS. It’s an interesting piece of speculative fiction that our modern age is, bit by bit, making a reality. I thought that I’d leave a couple of general comments on essay writing, so you can kick butt in essay writing for years to come.
Firstly, your essay doesn’t have a clear thesis statement. I read through your essay wondering what it was you were arguing. I couldn’t tell if you were attempting to prove the author’s intent, if you were sharing an interpretation via literary theory, or if you see another way Orwell’s novel is similar to our reality (ie–use of PC language, progression and improvement). Consider revisiting the drawing board and focus on what it is you want to say. Personally, I found your commentary on “politically correct standpoints” the most interesting idea you’ve mentioned. The other ideas you have tried to relate to your readers are, in my opinion, less interesting. The psychoanalysis theory has been done multiple times in the discourse surrounding 1984. (Here I’m talking about your discussion with the Id, Ego, and Superego.)
Secondly, it is a general rule of essay writing that you leave out plot summary. Assume that your reader’s have also read the book. This means that you don’t have to explain who Big Brother is, etc. If you must, keep plot summary to a minimum. Maybe a sentence here and there.
Thirdly, it seems you need some assistance in basic English syntax. Sentences are units of written communication that relay complete thoughts. For example, sentences like, “Disguised as progression and improvement.” or “But rather stamp it out an effort of control.” are not complete thoughts. You can add these fragments to the sentences before them and they’ll work out fine.
I hope these suggestions help! I can’t wait to see more of your work.
Not a problem!
Who told you an argumentative article doesn’t have a format? That’s simply untrue. The only difference between articles and essays are tense and length. Organization and sentence construction still matter. Those things will only HELP PERSUADE your audience to see your side of an issue.
Hi bglivoti!
I remember reading 1984 during the summer prior to my freshman year of HS. It’s an interesting piece of speculative fiction that our modern age is, bit by bit, making a reality. I thought that I’d leave a couple of general comments on essay writing, so you can kick butt in essay writing for years to come.
Firstly, your essay doesn’t have a clear thesis statement. I read through your essay wondering what it was you were arguing. I couldn’t tell if you were attempting to prove the author’s intent, if you were sharing an interpretation via literary theory, or if you see another way Orwell’s novel is similar to our reality (ie–use of PC language, progression and improvement). Consider revisiting the drawing board and focus on what it is you want to say. Personally, I found your commentary on “politically correct standpoints” the most interesting idea you’ve mentioned. The other ideas you have tried to relate to your readers are, in my opinion, less interesting. The psychoanalysis theory has been done multiple times in the discourse surrounding 1984. (Here I’m talking about your discussion with the Id, Ego, and Superego.)
Secondly, it is a general rule of essay writing that you leave out plot summary. Assume that your reader’s have also read the book. This means that you don’t have to explain who Big Brother is, etc. If you must, keep plot summary to a minimum. Maybe a sentence here and there.
Thirdly, it seems you need some assistance in basic English syntax. Sentences are units of written communication that relay complete thoughts. For example, sentences like, “Disguised as progression and improvement.” or “But rather stamp it out an effort of control.” are not complete thoughts. You can add these fragments to the sentences before them and they’ll work out fine.
I hope these suggestions help! I can’t wait to see more of your work.
Not a problem!
Who told you an argumentative article doesn’t have a format? That’s simply untrue. The only difference between articles and essays are tense and length. Organization and sentence construction still matter. Those things will only HELP PERSUADE your audience to see your side of an issue.