A SLAVE TO DOPE
You think you know suffering? Try to live as a dope fiend.
Listen to what im about to tell you, then youll know exactly what i mean.
This shit is no joke, its robbing many parents of their kids.
They are dying so often.. they’re lucky if they are sentenced to a
prison bid.
I Never thought that id say the words “lucky” and “prison” all in the same sentence.
But you see, we are playing rush and roulette….i know to you it makes absolutely no sense.
We didnt wake up one day and decide that we wanted to exist in a living hell.
We never wanted to hurt anyone…but our actions make it hard to tell.
You see, i was on a death mission, only seconds from selling my ass.
If the devil was selling tickets to hell i was working on getting a free pass.
I didnt sign up for this…i desperately wanted to find my way out.
I was 15 the first time i used heroin, how would i know what it was about.
If someone told me that within a few years id be homeless, i would tell them theyre wrong.
Cause this is not how my mother raised me, this is not a place where i belong.
How do you go from high school to hood, not knowing a single thing about the streets?
You better wise up fast…if you dont youre definitely gonna end up getting beat.
I got hit in the head with a pipe, all for a 20 peice of crack.
Oh yeah, cause i graduated from heroin…i made that decision and never went back.
Honestly theres no difference between the two, they both take u away from loved ones.
I lost a lot more than my family, if you asked about dignity id tell u i have none.
Dont leave your wallet out, cause ill help you look for it after i rob you,
Honestly i have no choice..i feel like theres nothing else i can do.
I could do like the other girls, and work at the club shaking my ass. I havent gotten to that point yet, but the day is approaching fast.
Dont say “i never”, cause youd eventially be doing the same thing too.
You have to feed that addiction, the drugs aren’t gonna be handed to you.
I remember my biggest worry being what id wear to school the next day,
Now i have to shoot heroin….i Fu*ked up, what else can i say?
My mother waits up every night thinking that maybe this week i will call,
But her worry doesnt concern me cause i dont worry about her at all.
She wont give me $20 and i warned her that she would never see me again,
I care about no on but myself, no one else knows where ive been.
Im nothing but a walking skeleton, sleeping on vents to keep myself warml…
i cant tell you how many times i woukd lay there, wishing that i was never born.
My wish may eventually come true…the wish that i would hopefully die,
Im just waiting to shoot my next bag, then maybe ill say my goodbyes.
No one is gonna miss me, im the scumbag girl that does drugs,
Shit…call me what you will, my only concern is getting my next buzz.
So now do you see where this drug brings you, and why your loved one gets high?
They tried telling you they had no choice, what they told you wasnt a lie.
I went from a girl that had a crush on a boy in school, to shooting heroin into her arms,
Its sad that this is a story for so many, it has now become the norm.
So before you shun your loved one, dont forget who they once were,
I can guarantee they are genuine when they say they wanna get sober.
For those reading this now, that are currently living in this hell,
There are people that love you, and want to see you get well.
If i can do it you can, cause i was the worst of the worst.
It got to the point where my own mother had to lock up her purse.
Thats not who i wanted to be, i wanted to be like all of my friends.
But you CAN get to that point….you CAN be like your friends again.
The moral of my story is meant to give others hope.
Cause i used to be right where you are now, i was a slave to dope.
Poetry
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