I’ve been through hell and back,
Involving my addiction,
This ugly beast killed my joy,
Always been my greatest affliction.
Been a slave to alcohol,
Toxic relationships and dope,
Been exposed to evil ways,
And I’d lost all hope.
Fast cars, drug dealers
And people who did me wrong,
Paraphenalia, lots of crime,
Felt I never did belong.
Blackmailed, frauded, drugged and raped,
Beaten, scarred and bruised,
I hated myself all the time,
And always remained confused.
Stuck in heartwrenching misery,
Remained lost and in despair,
Sank to the darkened pits of hell,
And about myself I didn’t care.
Had so much fear that lied underneath,
Racing thoughts consumed my head,
Never peace or serenity,
Constantly wished that I were dead.
Growing up I was never taught,
That emotions were okay,
Needed to learn that feelings aren’t facts,
And that they eventually go away.
So out of my mind with substances,
Never knew exactly what to feel,
And through the years could never tell,
What was true and what was real.
As time went by, the devil he worked,
My life a trainwreck and mess,
The disease progressed, my heart it hurt,
I felt worthless, I must confess.
Had lost control of my ways,
Was held hostage and held back,
I went from drink to adderall,
Smoking meth and smoking crack.
It made me bitter, it made me mean,
I couldn’t stand being in my own skin,
I never trusted anyone,
And on the streets there are no friends.
Became homeless and lived on the side of the road,
Became a thief and stayed in a tent,
Was isolated, lonely and scared,
And had no one whom I could vent.
I wept and prayed and I asked God,
To extend his heartfelt love,
I had no help, no family support,
But I knew the Lord was above.
Almost immediately the answers came,
Action became my friend,
Tired and weary I got myself,
To the hospital, yes, again.
I wanted to die and
Addiction took me to that ungodly place,
Was sick and tired of all the drama,
Abuse and bloodstains on my face.
But it’s coming together, I got some help,
It gets better every day,
Open-mindedness, honesty and willingness,
Are so important I must say.
So thank you Lord for saving me,
For always helping me to see,
That I’m a fighter and a survivor,
A sober woman I can be.