Pact was made underneath our sacred tree molted
scattered fallen leaves
colorful
as the morning’s promise evaporates the glistening of dew
when sunshine brings warmth
and laughter
to those few
brave enough to face slaughter
without regret
We the sons and daughters
of noble names
shall unite
when unions are bonded in blood
and betrayal
handed down to generations forlorn
Houses
forgotten with time
turn to peasant
But we shall never forget
our duty
to avenge the treachery
of our
King
We will never surrender our swords
except with our lives
not even for
a song
in a keep
Poetry
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This is really strong! The drawing helps; putting the distinct image of Vikings in my head helped give the poem a voice. I will say that I miss the word “The” in front of pact at the very beginning. Is there any reason you left it out?
I failed English during my high school years. Simply because I could never comprehend…. what’s an article? No matter how much my teacher drilled it into my head. Like literally with his pen, he stabbed me in the head with it! I guess he was frustrated with me. I was never too articulate. Like I didn’t even know how to express my pain. A simple,”Ouch!” could’ve let him know I was being traumatized. But I just stood there bleeding, and looking at the floor with tears falling on the floor, in great shame… umm… well anyway… That’s why I never graduated, instead I got myself a GED. It took me four years of community college to finally get my “diploma!”
I failed English during my high school years. Simply because I could never comprehend…. what’s an article? No matter how much my teacher drilled it into my head. Like literally with his pen, he stabbed me in the head with it! I guess he was frustrated with me. I was never too articulate. Like I didn’t even know how to express my pain. A simple,”Ouch!” could’ve let him know I was being traumatized. But I just stood there bleeding, and looking at the floor with tears falling on the floor, in great shame… umm… well anyway… That’s why I never graduated, instead I got myself a GED. It took me four years of community college to finally get my “diploma!”
I really enjoyed reading your poem! The last two stanzas really stood out to me. Also, the art work you drew was a good touch. My suggestion is to combine some of the lines in your poem. You have a lot of two word lines that I believe could sound better if you combined the words to the next line.
Thank you, Julia. Stanza? That’s too technical for me. I never understood what’s an article, so that’s like speaking about quantum physics to an average janitor like me. Yeah, I’m a sanitary engineer, btw …ahem …. with GED. In other words, I have no idea what you’re talking about.
A stanza is a group of lines, like a verse of a song. Julia likes this part:
“But we shall never forget
our duty
to avenge the treachery
of our
King
We will never surrender our swords
except with our lives
not even for
a song
in a keep”
Thank you, Mr. Bond! You’re a great agent of England… I meant English language. I certainly feel enlightened and less ignorant, than I was a moment ago. Btw, I’m enjoying your story, it’s very entertaining….. because it’s fast pace! Not boring at all!