I feel lost. I feel broken. I tried so hard to let go of the past. It had nothing to do with you. Now I sit and look back how I pushed you. How I made the mistake of not getting to know you. The past ate me alive. My anxiety ragged it’s ugly head. Now I sit confused and wonder why I ever let it take control of me. It enclosed it’s arms around me ripped me to shreds. Now I lost what could of been the best thing I never had. A selfish act of my own insecurties. A tattered and torn soul that needs to grow.
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I feel your pain. I was lucky enough not to have my anxiety interfere with personal intimate relationships, but there was one time I had a summer job I adored– a server at a dine-in movie theater. After the summer I went away to school, but they told me I could come back during the winter and work for the two weeks I was home. But by the time winter came around, I couldn’t do it. My thoughts started spiraling, thinking that nobody would remember me. I didn’t know who to call. I didn’t have anyone’s email. What if no other summer employees came back? They got a new menu, what if I couldn’t learn it and just messed up the whole time? So I never called, and later I realized that all my friends and my crush went back and made SO MUCH MONEY (because it was the winter Star Wars came back).
Anxiety sucks. I take meds now, and my quality of life has significantly increased. Might be something you’re interested in.
This piece make me want to know me. It is often a good thing to leave your readers wanting more. I want to know more about the characters, and who this work was written for. I think a lot of people would be able to relate to this writing. Everyone goes through difficult times, and by reading this people may gain comfort in the idea that they are not alone.
anxiety is ruff. I experienced it before and I thought I was gonna die. nice write, keep it up