Chapter 1- The Stars Look Lovely Today
Avceen had lived here his whole life. He had always seen the same sky, moons, nights, days, earth, grass, people, animals, and world around him.
His shoulders rest on the windowsill as his eyes stared glowingly at the five moons in the sky.
His pale, blue skin shimmered in the moons’ light as the stars elegantly danced in the purple scenery. Like always, they were shaped like diamonds.
For a while, Avceen actually assumed they were real diamonds. Or perhaps they were soldiers made of diamond. Or they were just balls of gas shaped like diamonds.
In the sky floated five moons that peaked above the horizon and appeared paler than most nights. Each moon appeared to go through a different phase.
The first one, Kronos, had a sort of pink shade to it but was shaped in a crescent formation.
The second one, Ophelia, was purple. It was smaller than the rest of the moons but remained full. The third one, Marigold, was yellow but appeared in a new moon phase.
The fourth, Kerberos, was blue and currently in a waning crescent.
The final one, Autonoe, was green with half of it missing.
Avceen wasn’t sure if it was due to recent colonization or the fact it was going through a phase.
Through his eyes, he wished every day could be like this no matter where he went.
Across the room, Avceen heard a loud thud.
In response, Avceen’s wings jolted upwards. “Who’s there?!” he yelled.
He slowly got off the windowsill with hand canons at the ready.
He shuffled through the many antiquities that were scattered among the floor.
The thud came again but this time, it was louder.
“Show yourself foe!” he demanded toughly.
“Avceen,” it called out, “come open the door!”
“Who is this?”
“Aventurine, who else?”
Avceen killed his canons and opened the door that led directly into the room.
In the middle of the doorway was the silhouette of a tiny man. His hands were braced against the wall as he huffed loudly.
“How did you get up here so easily?” Aventurine asked Avceen.
In response, Avceen flapped his feathery, white wings.
“Well, not all of us have wings. You know, I counted fifty steps to get up here!”
For some reason, Aventurine sounded ticked about his arrival.
He stepped over a pile composed of broken gem shards and sat down on the same windowsill Avceen was on.
Aventurine glared out the window in sudden awe.
In the distance, he could see the barrier islands surrounding Lustrous, the very land they lived on.
When Aventurine looked down, he could see a tiny, red, orb-like airship.
The airship was being loaded by multiple other rock and gem people.
Each person held a crate loaded with fuel and supplies, possibly for the mission.
“So that’s why you were up here.” Aventurine whispered.
Avceen slowly walked over to Aventurine and sat down.
His wing curled around Aventurine’s petite body.
Aventurine lay on Avceen’s shoulder and exhaled.
“I’m really going to miss you, brother.” Aventurine choked back on his tears.
“What do you mean?” laughed Avceen. “I’m going to come back.”
Aventurine looked up with gleaming eyes.
“Sometimes, it’s so hard to believe you’re the youngest one Avceen.” Aventurine chuckled. “I’m always so immature and you’re just so pacifistic and fun. I’m going to miss you a lot.”
Avceen looked down at Aventurine.
“Aventurine, I’ll always come back. You know that.”
“But what if you don’t!? They could kill you easily and I would never see you again. I wish you weren’t the metamorphic rock chosen for this mission of all the twenty-seven other ones!”
Avceen slowly folded his wing off his brother’s back.
“Is that what concerns you?” Avceen asked.
Aventurine nodded. His crystal tears dropped to the ground loudly as if dense.
Avceen scooted closer to his brother and closed his eyes.
“I will always come back Aventurine. No matter what happens, I won’t ever leave you.”
Avceen bit his lip and hoped his older brother would understand.
He hoped his brother wasn’t smart enough to understand his little brother only had one life left. Well, that’s what he calculated.
Rock people on average have at least nine lives until they really die.
Since Avceen is a metamorphic rock, a rare breed, it was likely he only had four to begin with.
One he’d lost from being impaled by an enemy sword and the other from getting his wings torn off then bleeding to death. So, he only had two to live. Or maybe only one.
Since Aventurine is an Aventurine gemstone, he works more in the fields of strategy and warfare. It’s possible since he’s a common gemstone that he still has nine lives left.
That would mean that if he died, Aventurine would have to go nine lives without him.
Aventurine moved closer to Avceen and snuggled under his armpit.
“I love you.” Aventurine whispered.
“Avceen One-O-eight, you are needed on the front loading deck.” called the commander.
Avceen looked towards the door he had let Aventurine in through.
A miniature crease of light snuck through the door and leaked into the room.
“I have to go,” Avceen sighed.
Aventurine closed his eyes and hugged Avceen tightly.
“You know; the stars look lovely tonight.” Avceen smiled.
“I’ll miss you. I love you too much!”
“You see that tree outside?”
Avceen pointed to a black tree with eighteen leaves on it.
“Yeah.”
“That tree’s leaves represent time. When this tree is dead, that is when I too shall move on.”
“But that’s an Evertree, it lasts forever.”
However, when Aventurine had been distracted, Avceen was already gone.
“Avceen?” he asked outloud.
Aventurine looked out the window and saw as Avceen walked on to the airship.
Aventurine stumbled on to the windowsill and opened the window.
“Avceen!” he yelled.
Avceen looked at the window then gave a sort of solute.
Avceen observed the insides of the airship.
The walls were coated with a poly carbonic alloy. The control panel was conveniently placed in the front of the airship. There were no windows on the ship so it was difficult to see what was happening outside.
Avceen placed a pair of headphones over his ears.
“Are you ready to go Avceen?” barked the commander.
“Sir yes sir,” said Avceen.
Avceen could feel the ship lean backwards as he placed a buckle over his chest.
The commander came over the headphones as he quickly began the count down.
Avceen closed his eyes and turned on the engines, then the fuel combustor, then the latex shield.
By the time the commander reached one, Avceen was gone.
The ship flew through the sky so quickly that Avceen’s back was pinned against his seat.
Avceen squinted his eyes due to the amount of speed.
He tried to keep them open but all he could see were the walls of the ship.
For now, he needed to rest his eyes.
For a while, that seemed like a good idea.
Avceen rest his head and closed his eyes.
For a while he had no thoughts.
Avceen didn’t think about going undercover as a spy, he didn’t think about visiting the bordering floating islands, he didn’t think about Aventurine or the red lights flashing in the ship.
Nor did he think about the commander’s warning coming to him over the headphones.
He only thought about why the ship was moving so slowly and why his heart rate was up.
Aventurine watched as his brother passed the border between his world and the other world.
He sighed with relief for his brother.
He hoped that he was finally safe until he heard a loud pop.
Aventurine turned around alarmingly to see a cloud of dust and fire erupted from just above the barrier islands.
From the shuttle fell a pair of white wings and someone Aventurine had known for years.
Could it be? How? Why?
Everything just didn’t process right for him. It all went too fast.
It can’t be possible, Aventurine thought.
Avceen was dead.
Creativity
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Well this is an interesting world you’ve set up here. Anthropomorphic rock people, multiple lives, brothers/family ties. I would be more interested in learning about the environment. Your description of the skies was lovely, I like the assorted moons. The end came very suddenly, giving us no time to enjoy the ‘why’ of the mission or why it might be significant that Avceen’s heartrate was up. Keep working and shaping this story. I think it has a lot of potential!
First of all, let me commend you on the exceptional imagery in this piece! Am I biased to the imagery of the night? Yes, extremely so. However, you’ve managed to completely captivate the reader and pull them into this fantastical world.
A couple of notes.
I’d take out the following:
1) ” ‘Show yourself foe!’ he demanded toughly.”
Realistically, no one shouts this when they suspect an intruder. Also, based on Avceen’s character, it doesn’t fit with his tone. I’d expect Aventurine to say this if anyone.
2) ” … You know, I counted fifty steps to get up here!”
It sounds like a cheesy one-liner and reads as awkward in such a clean, smooth story.
3) “I’m always so immature and you’re just so pacifistic and fun.”
It’s unnecessary. You’ve done an excellent job developing Avceen’s character using tone, actions, gestures – he has a calm air of wisdom about him. Don’t undermine your writing; these direct characterizations (immature, pacifistic, fun) have already been conveyed well.
Your story is really good. I’m waiting for the next chapter!
– Jenaya