I stared at the wall. I stared at the wall and it was as if the wall was opening up and telling me its own story. It was very late at night, I’m usually in bed by now, but there is something about the wall that keeps me gazing and thinking about it. Maybe it’s been such a long day…. Or a long year. How long have I been traveling? I ask myself knowing I haven’t strayed out of the house for the past couple of days. I don’t know why but it does feel like I am constantly traveling. I do know that there is something about the details. I am possessed with the details. To know how things work and what’s inside them. It is the how that keeps me going. That’s why I like making video games. It is almost impossible to encompass the details, but certainly the video games create an experience in the human mind that is very difficult to decrypt. The details of the wall are what makes me so interested in it. A crack here. The cement bricks, the textured plaster, the white paint. It all slowly comes down to me. It is the substance of things that keeps me hooked into them. Their layers. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have it. I wish I didn’t have the interest in the details. Everything I look at, has so many levels down below, like a giant cliff. A cliff I tend to get lost in. A cliff of understanding how things work. A cliff of revelations one after another. Something that makes me feel that I may be able to use it for my own benefit. But then I stumble upon another defeat, another failure, another rejection. Give up? I can never give up. But sure will try to figure this all out, figure this all out by myself.
Undefined
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