39 years. That is how long it took me to start, just start, discovering who I am.
I was lost amongst chaos.
I’ve lived in 16 places in one state.
I have 10 half siblings but no full ones.
Four sets of grandparents.
Two parents, and two step parents.
And at the bottom of it all, the youngest, the baby, me.
I had to run. But even then it followed me.
I grew to face it, parts anyhow.
Other parts attacked me.
I will never face those parts again.
They have been severed.
Nine medications to get me through a day.
Debilitating anxiety, depression, and carnage in my brain.
It is no wonder I went a tad bit insane.
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