You know what’s so unfair? Having someone say they want and miss you but they don’t want to be with you. And during that time having to wait for them. Not that you have to but I bet you want to because we all wait for the ones we want. Maybe not all of us but I’m betting most of us. And just during this long ass period of waiting for them to want to be with you meeting people who wouldn’t want you to wait because they don’t want to miss out on you. Really good people who would do anything to make sure your enough. I’m stuck between giving up on everything I had and ever wanted and moving on to someone who could honestly make me really happy for a while and treat me the way I wanted or just giving up on everything that could be good for that one guy who might not even treat me the best and makes me feel less but I’d do it because I love him u know? Its shitty and I know some people actually know when to stop going back but me? I can’t stop going back. I can’t help but take a step forward and turn around for a quick second and see if they turned around too. I can’t help but go back to what destroys me on the inside and out. I’m just stuck between living and not living and that’s a really hard choice for me now…
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I’ve totally been there before. It’s like an addiction- you know they’re wrong for you, and deep down you know it won’t work out, but you WANT it to. I could never give anyone up until I was so emotionally destroyed I couldn’t physically go on. Don’t be like me. Drop him. Move on. You’ll be better for it.
And you want to tell him, but that would ruin the point of him making that decision. Tough call.
It took a lot of courage and strength to write this. You have answered your own question.
The fact that you wrote you know he doesn’t want to be with you. Time to move on.
The fact that you wrote you are waiting all this time tells me that time has not been making you happy with him. Time to move on.
The fact that you have seen really good people in that time tells me you are not happy with what you have and it is not really what you want. Time to move on.
Time has shown you that you cannot change people, time has shown you that you can be happier. Don’t be stuck and destroyed any longer. Live life, move on, mentally you will be happier and may find someone that will be less time than the time that you have been waiting on something that you know will never truly give you happinesses.