My heads a balloon
Somehow I manage
To get it caught in the clouds
So it’s no wonder I see
The world differently
But if by misfortune
I was to trip and fall
Head first into a tumble
It’s sure to mean trouble
From cloud to ground
The people would point, stare
And have a laugh at a clown
Humor
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This was sweetly funny. It calls to mind the way introverts, loners, and quirky people think of themselves. We have our heads so far up in the clouds that when we finally come back down, we seem out of touch. It’s a more cheerful way of looking at it.
I would say you need a few commas at the end of sentences continuing onto the next line and periods at the end of ones that don’t. Also, line 11 needs an “and” instead of a comma.
Great job!
This is a nice poem. I love the message you are creating here that you feel as if you are on top of the world; however, you have to keep working hard or else you will fall back down. The balloon was a nice symbol for this as well as the clown falling.
Your poem was really good; yet, I have a few suggestions. Instead of saying “people”, in line 11, I would say crowd or audience, so that the reader gets pulled back into this imagery of a circus. Also, I would play with the balloon allusion a little more, especially at the end of your poem. You could make your clown’s head pop from embarrassment or shamefulness.