I am akin to a ship lost at sea,
the cold and the darknss are surrounding me,
this place I have found, is not my own world,
I’m drifting away from all that I care.
As the light of the dawn slips and wanders away,
I’m left in the dark of a desolate day,
though the sun shines upon me, I notice it not,
It’s no more than a dream, or a passerby thought.
Madness and ruin are gripping my heart,
my mind and my spirit are drifting apart.
Thus all warmth and gladness have ceased to be near,
And all of my thought is enshrouded in fear.
I look now in vain up into the sky,
and wonder if I am going to die.
I may as well fall down into the depths,
in the malice of sheol i’ll then find my breath.
This world that I stand in is now not my own,
and I’m silently drifting, oh, where is my home?
Poetry
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Your vocabulary is strong in this piece, and I love the way that you ended it. I would suggest adding more imagery to this piece to draw your readers in even more. Right now, it is hard to picture what you are speaking about. You do provide a few examples that are good, like a ship lost at sea, and detailing the sky, but I feel like you could do even more with this. Good job!