Edgy. That’s a word for it.
This feeling that I’m having.
But that doesn’t describe it.
It’s more like I want to jump.
Jump right out of my skin.
But really think about that.
Jumping out of your skin.
That would hurt immensely.
So here’s the crazy thing.
I still want to do it. Why?
Why do I want that pain?
Because, I found a way,
to take a sick pleasure,
in inflicting pain upon me.
It’s a powerful release,
from the thoughts that go,
in circles over and over,
through my hurt mind.
Truly, the physical pain,
is better than the mental.
But I can’t leave myself,
covered in large scars,
so I write, and write,
and when I am lucky,
then the pain will stop and,
the desire to jump, to hurt,
feels better for a little while.
Poetry