Fixed incremental poison ingestion, the voluntary decay provided by us for us. Materialistic idolization dumbing us down To our most primal savage selves. When is our allotment simply enough… When do we take responsibility for our Darkness and allow Allah’s light to save us? I’m beginning to lose hope, I fear we’ve been permanently disillusioned by the allure of our inner creature; miscreants of the most terrifying nature. Have i sunk lower than the status quo? Am I voluntarily shoveling the graveyard dirt atop my head for fear of continuous exposure to the revealing light of Allah’s grace? Am I so scared of success or is it that I’m addicted to these clinging shadows of yesterday? What is it that made me believe my voice Would ever make a difference, perhaps it was just my self absorbing ego all along. There is no place for us abandoned children; we’ve been corrupted by our need and crippled by our fear, stagnation of the worse kind. Depression eats at my drive and now I cannot differentiate the man in the mirror, self loathing the force behind my self destruction. The ‘it’ reckless without abandon. The disease is self. Shirk has become my waking nightmare And the hellfire tomorrows promise, I foolishly walked miles and miles into the jungles associating false gods with Allah. Weak ravenous and weary, the path back to truths embrace is further than the road left to be walked to the heart of the jungle. Therein lies the suffocating promise of death. Why can’t I shake this cancerous darkness? The Christians say the flesh is weak, a harsh truth I did not heed. I have become a flesh creature, the mind ruled by petty desire and its associated consequences unable to shake my own impending disaster. Is the acquiescence to Allah’s demand of subservient worship so hard? Why do I continue to fight brokenness instead of submission to truth and humbleness? Grandiloquence the disease soiling my tongue. Words of silver and gold cannot save me from the hellfire….
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