Seconds pass, then minutes, hours, months, then a year and another… and another after that.
Yet it feels like not a single minute has gone by, it is as if I am frozen in time …. living the same day over and over again.
The world seems to be moving on and yet my body, my soul feels glued to the ground at a single, endless, anxious tunnel. I see the light but I can’t quite reach it.
Sometimes I feel like a few more steps and I’m there, I’ll finally be emotionally set … spiritually free.
Of course, most days I am years away from reaching that light that shines far up ahead.
There was a time where I couldn’t even see the light, I was walking, running, crawling aimlessly in a dark tunnel, with zero hope, floating in my own pool of demise.
But, now I can see the light, I just can’t touch it, or maybe I won’t touch it.
Part of me seeks the light, part of me fears it.
It’s like my mind has dissociated from my body. I am in complete cognitive dissonance.
There is so much that I want to do, but so little do I actually do to make those wishes come true.
There is so much that I need from this life, but am too scared to even seek those needs out.
I feel like a perplexed being, balled into a mess of existence.
Sooner or later, with my willingness or not, the Universe will make the decision for me, this life will choose a route for me and I won’t be able to do a damn thing about it, because I’m too stubborn, and proud to get off my high horse of self-sabotage.
I’ll lose the battle in preserving what good I have left in me, due to arrogance, stupidity, and self-toxicity.”
Life is short and over in a day, so why waste a second of it worrying about whether things will pan out or not, whether something is right for you or not. Whether you’re destined to be a failure or not. It’s all a waste of time and a waste of space. It’s a trap.
Life is quick and sudden, it’s very nature of inception is instant and its very nature of decay is instant.
We as ‘humans’ only think that the essence of life is slow and gradual. But that is to our own eyes. But in the eyes of the earth, ‘life’ is a spark of rush, it is present, not the past or future. It is ‘present’. It arrives quickly and it leaves quickly.
Therefore it is best to live ‘life’, in a way that celebrates the present, the here and now. living in the past and worrying about the future is futile because both are not present, one is old and the other has not happened so why worry about something that is out of our control.
The lighter the mind, the better. Don’t fill the mind up with empty words and empty hopes.
Stay calm, be real, be present, be you.