and so lovely
from West Indies
she was shaped like a pear
plucked fresh from the orchard
and her hair
was braided like concord grapes
hanging down to her breasts
which were like honeydew melons
with strawberry nipples
I felt like a felon
with all these dirty thoughts
my eyes looking down her phat Jamaican thighs
thick like juicy long watermelon slices
her peach was dissected
and without remorse
I ate her
she was delicious….!
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4 Comments on “forbidden fruit”
This is going to sound nitpicky, but because most of the food imagery here is about fruit, the “finger licking good line” (which I assume is a reference to KFC?) felt misplaced. Is there any way you can change that to a fruit reference too, just to fit with the rest of the poem?
Nice drawing, too!
( which I ass u me is a reference to KFC?) ….. NO. Your assumptions are exactly that. It is wrong, because the owner has no imagination. “finger licking good line” can also come from …. eating an orange by peeling its rind, and tearing the segments … I’m using my fingers to do it… and guess what? I’ve juice running down my fingers … I’d say ….FINGER LICKING GOOD!
I agree, the “finger licking good” line felt out of place. Perhaps you could dive deeper. Try to describe how the woman tastes. You could go back to the fruit that made up the woman’s body parts and have the speaker describe the taste and texture of the fruits. I enjoyed reading your poem, though! I loved the title. It allowed me to have an understanding that the woman is evil. My favorite lines were “was like a peach dissected in half pit less”. When reading this, it made me think that the woman was purely evil that she had no soul. Also, whenever the speaker said that she tasted good, it also led me to believe that even though the speaker is aware of her cruelty, the speaker still wants to be with her. Well done!
…… uh ….. oh .. kay …… so a woman is evil …. hmmm …. yeah, I agree! She’s got that weapon between her legs. She robbed me!
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