I hate when you dont talk
Its like i am starving,
You have so much food
Yet you only give me crumbs.
A little here, a little there
Enough to excite me into thinking
It will be different this time.
Maybe this time
You will tell me something real.
Maybe this time
I’ll be able to make you feel
Connected to me,
Understood, loved, ecstatic,
Everything i feel
When you talk to me.
This chase was exciting
For the longest time.
My ego needed to know
If it could combat this
Intense detachment
That permeates your being.
Its like an adversary
Taunting me,
Knowing what I crave, and
Purposely withholding.
It was a thrill, a push and pull,
I needed it
To feel alive…
Now I believe
Im taking damage.
Youre unattainable,
In the way that i need you.
Id rather be gaslighted
Than to feel the sting of
Your indifference.
Humoring this relationship
Any longer
Is going to hurt,
Like a knife wound to the gut.
But letting you go forever?
Thats like my heart
Slitting its own throat.
I’m lost without you.
Im starving
With fragments of you.
Im frozen.
Should i keep trying,
Or finally let go?
Drama
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What pushes harder, against the sides of a glass jar? The rocks inside it, the sand in between the stones, or the water in between the sand granules. While you sit pondering the science, never forget that glass walls push back too. Hard enough pushing and the world that holds the biom created, shatters.
With love, to you, may you find solace under cerulean.
Oh. My. Goodness.
This poem is absolutely breathtaking; it’s beautifully worded and I felt some emotions that I’d forgotten I even had when I read this.