Between life and death is my existence. Grasping at the world. I am not alive; no love, no joy, no peace. I’m slowly rotting away so slow it is unexaminable my flesh rejects the soul. Not dead for my body still moves my mind still turns the prepunched gears destined to turn out one product as if a train with only one track going nowhere. Barley alive is my heart as it turns sober wasted in a life of uninsperation in emptiness a charcoal spotlight baths me. Medicting myself to numb nothing inside me. joy, love, peace. Worn off gone forgotten, a figmate of my imagination the ravings of an addiction fueled walk. Im not dead; no love, no joy, NO peace. The sobering silence inside me is too loud to breath, breaking my will, cracking the bones that are left to support me. I need to hear I demand to feel. medicated again, nothing. the dose is too small incapable of overcoming the tolerance to an intolerable life. More I NEED MORE medication to feel, god I need to feel something. Joy, LOVE, PEACE. It’s gone faster then I feel it. I am not alive as the world machine turns around and around, having no design in the wheel just a spoke that never got installed. No love, no joy, no peace. This time the dose is right. It’s getting darker now ever darker as I fall into an infinate pool. Not breathing in the liquid just watching as the waves of eternity crash over me endlessly. Peace.
-Bryce Martin
Poetry
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Don’t mind me I’m just really, really, really sad. It saddens m
Don’t mind me I’m just really, really, really sad. It saddens me that people actually have to go through such pain. I can’t even fathom suicide.
I love the repetition of “love & peace” this is something that the speaker can’t have and so it is befitting that it is repeated. And the ending was dark-beautiful. Unfortunately, death is the only way some people find their peace.
Sad, but a reality, joy, love, and peace out there if only found.