My eyes gaze upon the likeness and
will not sway from the watchful grace.
Who can turn away from the fascination
or wonder locked into her face?
Soft wisps of hair scrim a gold earring and
a radiant, feminine demeanor.
An easy smile belies a true protector of
mischief and generous nature.
Glass endeavors to mask body and depth,
the allure of her locked stare.
But amused, yet, ardent blue eyes sparkle
through to my meager sphere.
They bore deep, hopeful intuition and
sustained infatuation my only dole.
Cunning charm torments rare desire,
torments an invalid, weak will.
Hopelessly, I stare at her unblinking
beauty. Gaunt heart swells.
Absurd she could yearn as much?
Mortal ego weeps, oh well.
Knowingly she is but a photograph, a two
dimensional vision, a dream
never to be. She burrows into memory.
Elusive love her eyes gleam.
My eyes gaze upon the likeness and
will not sway from the watchful grace.
Who can turn away from the fascination
or wonder locked into her face?
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Really incredible writing, well done! I love the use of such rich and dynamic language and the flow was spot on. Returning to the original thought was really effective, concentrating on the subject of the photo, but it meaning so much more as you’ve described beautifully in the piece.
Here are some thoughts:
1. This is great imagery, with the glass in the frame serving as yet another barrier between you and the girl.
Glass endeavors to mask the depth, the body, the allure of her locked stare
2. Minor spelling fix
Soft wisps of hair scrim a golden [earring] and her effortless, pure demeanor.
3. This is so powerful. It gives the reader so much information about the character.
Her eyes sparkle thru to my meager sphere. They bore deeply, hopeful intuition and continued infatuation the only dole.
4. What color are her eyes?
Her [color] eyes gently burrow into memory.
Keep up the thought-provoking work!
Thank you very much. The girl is inspiring. All new to me.