I can’t do this anymore. I can’t continue faking a smile. I can’t keep forcing a laugh. I can’t keep trying to talk to someone because I know they aren’t going to listen. I try talking to my best friend but she interrupts me so she can talk about herself. I don’t want to feel like I do everything wrong. There’s a storm of my own thoughts in my head. There’s a sea of my despair, i’m on a boat trying to overcome the crashing waves. I walk through life trying to hold onto someone’s hand but they always seem to let go. I can’t keep doing this to myself. I know that one day I might not live to see my own writing. I know that one day I might not be here to listen to the ones I love hate me. I can’t hold myself together because i’m already apart. I want to let go, but I can’t for the people who do care. I want to find the perfect friends, the perfect guy, the perfect future. But I can’t find it because I can’t continue doing this anymore. At one point, I’ll let go.
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i feel, you are not alone. seek not external help but internal; it comes from within. it’s hard to keep pushing, but know that you are here for a reason, you can do great things. The way that it is is not the way it should be, and what’s keeping it that way is people afraid to lift up their voices and help others to see that the path they are on is not the right one. There is a community out there of people like you, people like me, they call themselves Buddhists and they can help as support and a tool for you to find your true self. Do not let go just yet, don’t blame the environment, you have the power to change the way that things are, and the truth is that it’s all in your head thus you cannot be free but you CAN be happy and learn to love yourself. Perhaps others are not what you need, rather strength in oneself which comes from the love.
i feel. you are not alone. seek not external help but internal; it comes from within. it’s hard to keep pushing, but know that you are here for a reason, you can do great things. The way that it is is not the way it should be, and what’s keeping it that way is people afraid to lift up their voices and help others to see that the path they are on is not the right one. There is a community out there of people like you, people like me, they call themselves Buddhists and they can help as support and a tool for you to find your true self. Do not let go just yet, don’t blame the environment, you have the power to change the way that things are, and the truth is that it’s all in your head; thus you CAN be happy if you learn to love yourself. It’s within your control. Perhaps others are not what you need, rather strength in oneself which comes from the love. No one can show it to you, you must find it yourself, but there are tools out there that just might help. Just lift up your voice, know that you’re here, not alone, but you live with yourself and you can only try to do better. If it seems pointless, take yourself out into nature, look deep within, and find the harmony that exists all around. You’re a part of it all. Think for yourself and express your thoughts. And no, people like you and like me are not crazy. But the search for something perfect external is, as is the clinging to judgment and fear, and these things can be tamed if you truly believe. I wish you the best on your path, I know that you can keep walking, and that is the answer. That there is no destination; all that there is is what you hold inside. So use it, do what you love, if you’re feeling trapped then make some changes to follow your passions and keep yourself going. You are here for a reason, and that reason is good. We must learn to forgive for no one is perfect, but we can sure as hell try to be. Just believe.
I felt this, i felt every word, i felt your pain. i love the line ” I can’t hold myself together because i’m already apart” because i relate to that so much! i love your writing! this is by far my favorite. i hope you don’t feel this way for long, you’re amazing, and you are going to shine through one day. you’re so creative and so talented. The only person you need to be good enough for is yourself. i know how it feels being consumed by the constant want to make everyone happy and be good enough for everyone around you, but there’s always going to be critics, there’s always going to be doubters. you just have to look them in the face and be able to say their words don’t matter, because all that matters is how you view yourself and whether you’re good enough for yourself. <3 keep your head up!
you are not alone.. i feel the same way.. it comes in waves for me. right when i think ive got it under control, that feeling comes back. but dont give up
Hold on . don’t let go. Love yourself as one user mentioned above that maybe you require internal help rather than external help. Everyone feels this way at some point of their lives, and if they don’t so then they are probably better at hiding it than others. they are probably better at faking smiles and faking laughs and pretending that everything is fine. its okay to feel this way, embrace it and understand the deeper meaning and reason as to why you feel this way. Because the world will always disappoint you at some point of your life , so you can’t rely on others forever. You need to rely on yourself and hold on!!
Stay Strong!! <3 <3