I just thought
That maybe it’d be different
And I just knew
I couldn’t live this way
I just fought
For us with all I had left
And now I’ve lost
And left it up to you
Left it up to you
After I just thought
There’s nothing left to do
No more hope for us
Even though I fought for you
Suicide it was
For I knew the battle’s outcome
Before I stepped onto the field
Before I dropped my only shield
And gave my body freely still
To someone I knew would throw it away.
Poetry
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I love love love the way you tied in themes of sorrow, selfless sacrifice, and heroism into this piece! Better still, you’ve given the narrator a sense of bravery and loyalty by your word choice. I think the narrator’s actions could have easily been seen as sappy, weak or foolish, but the skilled writing of this poem doesn’t give me that impression at all. Amazing piece! Something tells me “you” shouldn’t betray the speaker… or they may end up like “you” in your piece “Prey.” Love it.
Thank you so much! Comments like this make me want to keep writing. I really appreciate them.
This piece can be read forward and backwards, line by line. Effective.