There’s this scene that keeps replaying in my head,
over and over again.
And every time it hurts,
but it just keeps playing.
It was a day I thought was good looking back on it with my rosy glasses.
In the moment it felt wrong, but I blamed it on anxiousness.
Looking at it now with my jade contacts it was horrific; it was wrong.
I hate that you did it.
I hate that I did nothing.
I hate that I let it happen.
I hate that I look at myself and only see what you did.
I hate that I let you get away with your filthy, selfish deeds.
I hate that I blame myself for your disgusting crimes.
I hate that you probably don’t feel a single ounce out of the tons of guilt, shame, and disgust I feel
when you’re the one who committed the heinous acts.
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Oh, I really like your use of “jade contacts” as the opposite of the saying “rose-tinted glasses”! Your take on the hate felt after being wronged really does sum up how people start shifting blame around in their head. It’s always easiest to blame yourself when someone wrongs you, because you’re the only person that you had any real control over.