Hey guys,
I didn’t know who to talk to about this, I just feel the need to share. I had my first anxiety attack…in public…at work… After realizing that there was no way to calm myself down (I took two of my anxiety pills and tried mindfulness), I informed my supervisor and he sent me home. I was in such a rush that it took me two tries to figure out which doors led to fresh air. By this time, the tears couldn’t be stopped. Mascara and tears running down my face, standing in the middle of the parking lot at work, waiting on my Uber. I felt and looked crazy. It felt like it took forever for him to get there. After taking my seat on the passenger’s side, the deafening sound of silence filled my brain with mixed thoughts. I changed my Uber final destination twice before deciding it was best I just go home. The driver looked annoyed as he laughed nervously. The minute the front door shut behind me I immediately broke down. I sat on the couch as I started to shake uncontrollably, my eyes felt like they couldn’t stop fluttering and all I could hear was a loud ringing in my ear. after about 20 minutes of that I felt a wave of calmness brush over me. The medicine. It had made its way to my brain.
I’m hoping tomorrow is a better day and for anyone struggling with everyday tasks because of depression and/or anxiety to share their stories. If not to cope, to spread awareness.
Journalistic Writing
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I care for someone who suffers from anxiety. From the outside, it can be a very frustrating because the noise in the person’s head keeps out your voice of calm and reassurance. He works as a teacher and has, thankfully, never had an attack at work, but I can’t imagine what it must be like to have the added pressure of work expectations pressing on you as well as knowledge that your body is rebelling against your best efforts to keep calm.
Thank you for sharing your story. It helps me to know what goes on inside an anxious mind. I hope you figure out a way to keep it managed so it can be a load off your mind.