I just wanna know what is going on. I’m so tired of losing control, and forgetting what even happened. An alter comes to front, and I lose grip on what’s going on. I sometimes struggle remembering months at a time. The hardest part about it is I don’t even know the names of or how many alters there are at this point. They just switch out, pull some shit, and I have to fix it. I was in a relationship with someone I barely knew because one of the alters fell in love. I hurt people I don’t even know because they aren’t a person who makes me happy. I’ve tried staying in an alter based relationship, it doesn’t work. It is so difficult for no reason. DID is defined as a mental disorder caused by trauma. But how much is enough? Why do these alters keep coming out of nowhere? It is the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. But nobody around me understands. And that’s the hardest part.
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