The first time she saw him it was just chance. She just happened to come in to work and he was being interviewed for a job in her department. She didn’t know what it was about him but she couldn’t take her eyes off of him. The first time he spoke to her she was at her desk and he just happened to stop by and chat about the weather. The weather of all things! She guessed he was just trying to be friendly to everyone and get to know as many people as he could, but she could feel there was something else.
For about a year he showed up randomly. Seeing him coming out of a meeting or going to or from his office. She was low man on the totem pole in the accounting department and he was one of the department heads, so she knew nothing could ever happen between them.
But something about him drew her to him. She thought it was just her and her tendency to want things she couldn’t have. Everything changed.
Like normal she went to work. It seemed just like the other days that came before and the ones that were sure to come after.
Working on the same weekly report as she was when he first talked to her and the walkie talkie went off. Security was yelling into the device saying there was a shooter in the building.
Where the hell was she supposed to go? She was out in the open, at a desk in front of solid glass doors. She guessed she could go into the board room that opened up right behind her, but what if the doors were locked and the shooter came down the hall as she was trying to open them? What then?
So she smoothly slid out of her chair under the desk pushed the trash can, and a couple of random boxes in front of her, hoping that if he did come this way that she was completely hidden from view.
She could hear footsteps coming down the hall. Quick, soft steps. She peered through the small hole she had left herself and saw feet. They were coming right towards her!
All she could think was about her family and how they were going to know that she was a coward who hid under the desk instead of anything else.
All of a sudden the debris at her feet shifted and moved and a shadowy figure squeezed in next to her.
“Hey,” he whispered, “Are you okay? All the offices up the hall are locked.”
She could barely believe her luck. A shooter in the building and now she was stuck in this small space with HIM. She tried to speak but nothing came out. She cleared her throat and tried again.
“Y-yea, I’m fine. I didn’t want to try the board room because I figured it would be locked, like it always is. Oh God what was that?!”
They both heard footsteps coming down the hall. These weren’t trying to be quiet. They were deliberate, hard steps, meant to frighten anyone who came within earshot of them. She started panicking, her breath coming in short bursts. She tried to quiet them; knowing that just her breathing would give them away and then she would have gotten both of them killed.
She looked over at him and his eyes were as wide as they could go. He was begging her to be quiet, hushing her breathing, but she couldn’t stop it. He grabbed her hand hoping to calm her but all it did was make her heart speed up.
“Seriously?! There is a shooter walking towards us and I am more scared about the fact that he is basically laying on top of me in this tiny space and holding my hand?!” She thought.
“Please, be quiet” he whispered as quietly as he could, but she just couldn’t calm down. He could think of nothing else to keep her quiet except to make her. In a rush, not trying to be gentle at all, he put his mouth on hers, hoping to just keep her breathing out of her nose and calm down.
It worked. She was quiet! He didn’t realize his eyes were closed from the moment their lips met. They shot open and he looked at her. Her eyes were as wide as quarters but she wasn’t panicking any longer.
The steps continued to get closer and closer, soon they were at the end of the desk. He could feel her breathing start to get heavy again so he pushed his mouth harder on hers and pushed himself into her as hard as he could. Her eyes fixed on him and she calmed again.
The shooter walked on by. He kept going down the hallway. They waited about 10 minutes before either one of them moved, still staring at each other. Then all of a sudden they broke apart, as far apart as they could, being under the cramped desk.
“What was that?!” She asked sounding hurt.
“I-I’m sorry. I was just trying to keep you quiet and calm. I didn’t mean…. It didn’t…” he stammered trying to catch his breath. He couldn’t help it but a feeling was growing deep in his stomach. Not regret. He couldn’t pinpoint exactly what the feeling was but he knew he didn’t regret doing that. For one they probably would have got caught and shot. For another….. He didn’t know. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it but there was a feeling there, when he looked in her beautiful green eyes.
He had never noticed before but somehow her eyes seemed to glow. They were cramped in this tiny dark little place but her eyes seemed to light it up.
A sound came from the board room and it snapped the pair out of their stupor. Someone was beckoning them.
She looked through the small hole and saw someone they worked with beckoning them into the boardroom. Slowly they pushed the boxes out of in front of them. They then started to come out from under the desk, making sure that the shooter wasn’t just down the hallway ready to come at them as soon as they came out.
He made her go first, making sure she was safe and then he ran over and just as the other guy was shutting the door they heard the shooter coming down the hallway.
He had seen them!
The guy got the door shut, but what was a lock on the door compared to a gun! Doesn’t even matter what type of gun. A gun is a gun.
All three of them backed away from the door as fast as they could but it wasn’t fast enough for one of them. There was a! Bang! and wood flew everywhere. The guy who let them in fell backwards onto the floor.
The lights in the room were still off and you needed a key to turn them on. He grabbed her hand and dragged her through the room to the small break room that was on the other side. He opened one of the cabinets and pushed her inside, him scrambling after her. He quickly but silently moved items from beside them to in front of them hoping that it would have the same illusion as at the desk.
They heard him stomping around the room looking under the table and kicking chairs. After about 20 minutes of searching he finally gave up with a “Humph”, then walked out and slammed the broken door behind him.
The two stayed where they were holding on to each other, though they did loosen their grip and relax just a little.
She turned her head to look at his face, just to see if he looked as scared as she felt. As soon as their eyes met her stomach started doing flips. He couldn’t help but notice that the only thing that he could see in this entire room was the glimmer from her eyes. He still thought that they almost glowed.
There was something about her that he had never noticed before. Before today he would make sure to say hi to her in passing or shoot off a witty comment as he was walking past her desk, but never even contemplated actually looking at her. He was one of her bosses and he knew that was wrong. But looking into her eyes now he forgot about everything that he knew before. It was almost as if he knew nothing until now and he was finally seeing the light.
All of a sudden they heard someone yelling.
“If someone is in here please come out. The shooter has been apprehended and we need to tend to anyone who is injured.”
The two rolled out of their hiding space and peered around the door. They saw three police officers standing in the room with their flashlights, swinging them back and forth.
She stood up and started to run towards them, when she realized that she was still holding on to his hand. She looked up at him, staring in his eyes. She didn’t know it but he was as reluctant as she was to let go.
Finally, their hands separated and they made their way towards the officers.
“There is a man on the floor over here. He got shot when the shooter shot the door open. I didn’t have time to check his pulse or even see where he was hit but I know that the shooter kicked him with his boot as he entered and it scooted him.”
The officers followed where he was pointing and soon found the man who had gotten shot letting them in. The officer said something and the other two came to help. The man was still alive! He had got shot in the shoulder, so he was bleeding pretty bad but it wasn’t fatal.
He looked at her and a spark ran through his body. She was hugging herself, out of fear or cold he didn’t know but he wanted to help. He walked over and put his arms around her. She started to jerk away but stopped when he just held tighter.
“I have never seen anyone get hurt like that before.” She said. Her voice rattling so bad that he could barely understand what she was trying to say.
“Me neither”, he said holding her tighter.
The next few weeks were a little awkward for the pair of them.
Passing in the hallways or even just seeing each other across a crowded room sent shivers up their spines.
What was it they were feeling? Maybe it was just a bond that they now shared because of the ordeal that they went through together but maybe it was something else.
She didn’t want to find out though. She loved her job, wanted to move up some day, and she new that if anything did happen between them and it got out, her reputation would be ruined.
He, on the other hand, wanted to find out what was going on. He owed it to himself.Don’t get him wrong he did love his job and knew that he couldn’t let anyone find out about it, if anything did happen between them. But he had to find out what that feeling was. It was like no other he had ever felt.
One day, about 2-3 months after the shooting he saw her sitting by herself with no one else around. It was after hours so almost everyone had already left for the day.
What was she still doing here, she was just a part of the support staff. She should have left a long time ago. Was she waiting, hoping she would run into him so she could figure out the feelings too?
As he got closer he realized that she was working on something. She had headphones in and was listening to music but she was writing something. She didn’t notice he was standing right behind her looking over her shoulder to read what she was writing.
She was writing her account of what happened during the shooting. She had called him a hero for saving her life and that she owed him everything.
“Hmm” he thought, “She owes me everything? I didn’t think what I did was that big of deal.”
He tapped her on the shoulder and she turned around while pulling her ear buds out. The look on her face was utter shock and almost a humiliation.
“H-hey, how are you?” She said almost like she was scared to talk to him.
“Hey what are you still doing here? Shouldn’t you be home by now?
“Yea but I needed do this. Every time I try to talk to my family about it their eyes glaze over and they try to change the subject. I think it’s because it is so hard for them to think about because of what could have happened.”
“Yea I get that ,my family is the same way.”
He touched her arm as he said it and a spark went up his hand and continued to his heart.
“Can I ask you a question?” He asked hoping that her answer would be what he wanted.
“Sure.”
“I know that that day was crazy and I know that what I did, I only did it so that he wouldn’t hear us. But do you still feel something from it. What I did I mean?”
“You mean when you kissed me?”
“Yea, that’s what I mean. Do you have any feelings now?”
“I do,” his stomach jumped up into his heart, “but I don’t know if they are because of the shooting so I am just grateful to you or if it is something else. Also, I am one of your subordinates and so even if there was something there, there would be nothing we could do, no way for us to figure out what that is without it ruining one or both of us. Why, do you?”
“Yes, I do!” he said almost too enthusiastically,” uh-hum, I mean yea I have the same feelings and I agree with you I don’t know if it is because of the high stress of the situation or if it is something else. I agree that ethically we can’t and it could damage our reputation as employees but don’t you think it would be unfair to ourselves to not figure it out? Do you want to sit here for months, years even and have to feel this every day, or have 10 years pass and realize that you regret not finding out?”
“Look, I do see what you’re saying but I also think it is more likely that we just share a bond because of the high stress of the situation and that given time, it will pass. I think that it would be better to just give each other some space and put it out of our mind. Move on, continue on with our lives and hopefully that will help the situation”
His heart dropped about a foot as she said this. She had said what he wanted to hear but then she stomped on it.
“Okay, yea I see what you are saying. Well, I have to go. I hope you are able to find some solace in writing it down, and I hope you find someone to talk to.”
Days went by as they passed each other in the halls. Coming so close to each other but no way to get any further apart. Her feelings grew every day. Every time she saw him, even just out of the corner of her eye, her heart would start to race and her palms would start to sweat. Butterflies fluttered about in her stomach. But she knew that this feeling couldn’t continue. She loved her job. She didn’t want to ruin it all by even giving way to this notion that there could be something real there. What she had now was REAL. But the feeling she felt for him may not be, and throwing away her life for something that might not be real just didn’t seem rational to her. She believed that the best thing for her to do was to forget, at least to try to.
Though neither of them knew it they both agreed on this, his feelings were growing as well and he had to fight every urge to go to her even when he hadn’t seen her in a while. But he knew that the feelings might not be real, might be just a temptation that was sent his way. He was being tested to see if he could fight this unbelievably strong temptation. If he was able to surpass this he could surpass anything.
As the days went on, her feelings just kept getting stronger. There was nothing she could do. She had tried to stay away from him but it was a small department and they ran into each other almost every day. She had to do something about it.
Finally she had had enough. She had been offered a position at another company and originally had turned it down because she didn’t want to leave the company and miss out on any other opportunity that might arise there but she couldn’t shake what she felt. She finally called her contact at the other company to find out if the job was still available and if she could accept it.
Luckily the job was still available and even luckier this job paid a lot more than the position she was currently at. She accepted the job and was set to start within two weeks. She wasn’t planning on telling him because she was afraid he would ask her to stay. Because with her feelings growing every day, if he asked, she would probably say yes and she couldn’t keep doing this.
Despite her not wanting him to know, he heard about it through the grapevine. When he first heard about it he lost his breath. His heart went into his throat. All of sudden he felt sick to his stomach. He couldn’t believe his luck! When he thought that he was about to explode from not being able to go to her, she decided to move jobs. He would no longer be her boss.
He decided to go talk to her and see how she felt now. Almost as instantly as he had started off he turned around and went to his office, locking himself in. He couldn’t afford anyone to see him in the state he was in. He was hyperventilating.
‘What is wrong with me? I should not be acting like this! I already know what she is going to say. I don’t know why I even thought going to her would be a good idea. Why do I seem to be so obsessed with this one person that I can’t have?’
Every night he prayed that he wouldn’t dream of her, and every night there she was. Every morning he would wake up and pray that he wouldn’t think of her all day. Of how her lips felt against his, so soft and almost vibrating with fear of what was happening. But every day he thought of nothing else. Every time he saw her he had to fight the urge to go to her and grab her to pull her next to him and kiss her so long and hard that he ran out of breath. Why was this happening to him?
‘This job move might not be a bad thing,’ he thought, ‘maybe not seeing her everyday will be a good thing. Maybe, finally, I can get over this stupid feeling of longing for her.’
To her the thought of the job move made her nervous but slightly excited, until she thought of him and then her heart started to hurt. She didn’t understand why the feelings just kept growing because honestly she didn’t know anything about him at all besides what she saw on Face book and just things she heard around the office . But the feelings just kept growing and growing. This move was going to do so much better than staying where she was. There were too many possibilities of things going wrong if she stayed. Too many chances for her to give in to the thoughts she had been having.
The two weeks went by quickly and she hardly saw him, it made it a little easier to let go and leave. Though she had a feeling he was doing it on purpose. She didn’t know if she should go find him to say goodbye, seeing how he saved her life that one fateful day or if she should just leave. She decided on the latter because she was afraid that seeing him would stir up more of the feelings that were starting to go away.
Her last day arrived and she went to work like normal expecting this day to be just like any other. The morning started off just as she expected. Doing her work like normal, leaving notes for the next person who was to take her job. At lunch time she headed down to the break room to get some lunch but on her way down she was ushered into one of the board rooms and surprised with a going away party. It looked like the entire staff was invited and had showed up. Instantly her eyes started searching for him. Scanning every face to see if he was here. It took her all of five minutes to spot him. Sitting at a table far in the back of the room almost looking as if he was trying to hide from her.
Her heart sped up and palms started sweating. All the feelings that had been dying down all roared to life the instant they locked eyes. She could tell by the look on his face that the same thing had happened to him. But she couldn’t go over to him. Not right away anyways. That would be too obvious. She had to take it slowly and slowly make her way over there. Hoping that would make it seem like she just wanted to say hello.
So slowly she would talk to someone and then move on the next person. Strategically working her way to his table. It took about 20 minutes to finally wind her way back without offending anyone or, she hoped, making it seem obvious that she was trying to get back to him. When she reached his table she sat down in the chair next to him, so that hopefully any passerby might not hear their conversation. At first she didn’t say anything, just sat there watching everyone else talk and laugh and have fun. It wasn’t till she heard his breath quicken that she finally got up the nerve to speak.
“So, were you going to say goodbye to me or sit over here and sulk in the corner the whole time?” She said trying to lighten the mood.
He ducked his head before he spoke. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted to speak to me or anything so I figured the best bet was to sit back here, just in case.”
She turned to him so that she could look in his eyes as she spoke. To see what secrets they might hide. “Jason, regardless of the unmentionable situations that we are dealing with, I would still want to say goodbye, and talk to you. Because of you we are both still here and able to be with our families.”
He just sat there for a moment just breathing, staring into those beautiful green eyes. Not wanting to say what he really wanted to say. But for some reason his mouth wasn’t obeying his mind. And all of a sudden he blurted it out.
“Then why are you…..” He stopped himself as soon as he could. “I’m sorry. Never mind.” He got up to leave. She put her hand on his.
“Please, Jason, sit down.” He sat back down, though reluctantly. “Look, I can tell by the way you are acting that you want to say something. But please don’t ask me to stay. I can’t keep thinking about you every single day, all day long. I can’t keep dreaming about you. Every day I come into work hoping that you don’t come passed my desk or that I don’t see you in the break room while I am getting lunch because every time I do my heart races so face I feel like I am going to pass out. My palms get sweaty and I can’t catch my breath. Every time I see you I just want to run to you. And that can’t keep happening. I need to move on, try to forget. If I don’t, I am afraid I am going to lose everything I hold dear. Do you understand?”
“ Is that truly how you feel?” He asked completely dumbfounded.
“Yes, Jason, that is truly how I feel. But do you understand why I have to leave?”
“Y-yes I do.” He said while dipping his head lower completely downtrodden. “But before you leave can we please just talk?”
“We are talking right now, are we not? I never said we couldn’t talk. I just need to try to get you out of my head, at least temporarily while I figure some stuff out.”
“I mean, can we talk in private? I know today is your last day, but if you don’t have anything planned for when you get off work will you stop by my office for just a few minutes? Just so we could talk. Please Brittney, I need this.”
She looked at her phone to check the time. “ I am off work at 2. I don’t have to do anything else until 5 so I will stop by around 2:30. Is that okay? But just to talk right?
“Yes 2:30 will work. My last meeting of the day ends at 2:15. A-and yes just to talk.”
“Okay I will see you then. I am going to go mingle a little more before I get back to work. I’ll see you in a little bit.”
The next few hours seemed to drag by. She didn’t know if she was excited, nervous, or worried. They hadn’t been in a room, just the two of them since that day and with all the feelings that just seemed to keep piling up she was worried that all those that she had tried so hard to push down the past few months would come screaming back to the surface. But she couldn’t think about that now. He had basically saved her life and she owed him the respect of actually saying goodbye to him.
At 2 o’clock she packed up her things and said goodbye to the people she worked closely with. She put everything in her car and drove around the parking lot. By this time it was already 2:15 but she waited in her car. Gathering the strength to actually go in to the building to say goodbye. Finally at 2:25 she decided to get it over with. She shut off the car and walked inside.
His office door was closed so she knocked lightly. She thought she knocked too lightly because the door wasn’t opened. She was about to knock again when the door cracked just a little. She pushed it open and walked in. She had planned on keeping the door open but he was standing just inside the door and as soon as she had passed he quickly shut the door and locked it.
She was starting to get a little worried because of how fast he shut the door but tried to assure herself that she shouldn’t be worried. He probably just didn’t want anyone to hear them talking or interrupt. Mentally giving herself a pep talk seemed to be working because her breathing slowed and she was able to smile at him.
He motioned for her to sit down in one of the empty chairs to the side of his desk. Reluctantly she put her phone and keys on the desk and sat down, staring at him, waiting for him to speak first. After what felt like hours of them just looking at each other he finally spoke up.
“Did you really mean what you said earlier? About how you felt? I know you said that you are trying to get away from it but I need to know. I feel like I am going insane because for the past few months I have felt like I am the only one who felt that way. When I kissed you, I know it was only because of the situation, but I felt like everything I had known before in my life didn’t matter. That what was going on, wasn’t happening. That it was just us, nothing, no one else around. And when I opened my eyes when I finally realized what was actually going on, I looked into yours and I swear your eyes were glowing. So please, Brittney, I need to know.”
“Look, Jason, yes… what I said earlier was the tr—–“ He cut her off. He had pulled her in and kissed her harder than she had ever been kissed before. He had one hand on each side of her face, not keeping her from backing away and stopping it but also to let her know that is what he wanted.
Every dream she had had in the past few months was coming true as he kissed her so hard. His lips were a little dry but they felt so good against hers. His hands moved down her face to her neck as they pressed together harder, like they were hungry for each other.
Her hands had been left in her lap but slowly had moved to his thighs. Grabbing them desperately, using them as a lifeline to the real world. He opened his mouth just enough to slip his tongue passed his teeth and slowly helped her mouth open as he slid it into hers, tilting his head to the side to meld his mouth more to hers.
He could feel her heart beating faster and faster under his hands, her breath becoming more heavy. He could tell that this is what she wanted too, although she didn’t want to admit it. He moved one hand over her shoulder and down her arm to place it on her thigh. He wasn’t thinking about where to put his hands, what he wanted them to do, they seemed to have a mind of their own.
As their mouths continued to envelop each other their breathing was getting faster and their hearts were beating just as fast. Their movements like they were starving for months and finally were able to get some sustenance. His hand moved up her thigh to her stomach where it rested for just a moment and then moved further up to cup her breast. He made a soft moan as he cupped her size c in the palm of his hand. His fist closed as he squeezed, hard enough it made her moan but not so hard it hurt her. Her hands tightened on his thighs as he massaged her breast. With each movement of his hand hers went further up his thighs until they were so far up that her thumbs touched.
His other hand that had been on her neck moved around and grabbed a handful of her hair. Pulling it, yet pushing her closer to him at the same time. Beads of sweat had started to run down his spine and every movement she made sent a shiver down it.
All of a sudden, she broke apart from him.
“Ja—son.” She said out of breath. “We can’t do this. Not like this.”
He pulled her in again, reluctant to let her go. She pulled back again.
“Please. I-I can’t. I can’t do this. Please.” She cried desperately.
He sighed and dropped his hands. “Of course, you’re right. I’m sorry. It’s just when you said that you felt the same way I did I couldn’t keep it in anymore. These past few months it has taken every bit of strength in my body to keep from running up to you and doing what we just did. It’s all I could think about. I had to force myself to eat and sleep and not to think about you. The only person who realized what was going on was Brandon.”
“W-wait, Brandon knows how you have been feeling? You didn’t tell him anything about what I said earlier did you?”
“Yea I did. I needed his advice on what to do. I couldn’t do it on my own any longer. Why? Does it bother you that I told him?”
“Of course it does! Now it’s not just you that knows this. Now he knows. What happens if he slips up and says something to someone like Mary or Amy or anyone else? They could think that things have been going on between us for months. You could get fired! It could jeopardize my new position.”
“Calm down, Brittney! He isn’t going to say anything, I promise. Also, they can’t do anything for us just having feelings. No one will know what happened just now, except you, me, and God.”
“Oh God!” She put her head in her hands and started to cry.
He lifted her chin so her eyes met his and then rested his forehead against hers.
“Brittney please don’t feel like you are a horrible person. You were trying to get away from all of this. I am the one who asked you to come here. I am the one who kissed you. No matter what you said I shouldn’t have done that, I just love you so….” He stopped eyes wide open and staring at her. He held his breath. He didn’t mean to say that, it just slipped out. “I-I-I mean…. I don’t know what I mean… That wasn’t what I meant….” He stammered on trying to correct what he just said. But there was no taking it back.
“You love me?” she whispered, stunned. How can he love me? He doesn’t even know me. But I love him too, and I don’t know him. But I know what I am feeling, maybe he truly didn’t mean it. Maybe he just meant that he needs to know if he does or not. Maybe it was just a mistake.
“I…. Yes, I do. I have known for a while but didn’t want to say anything. I mean really we know nothing about each other. But still, there is this feeling inside of me that I can’t deny.”
This time it was her to make the move towards him. She pressed her mouth against his as hard as she could. After a minute she went to pull away but he wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled her closer to him. Within seconds, he had pulled her so close she had to get up from her seat. The next thing she new she was on his lap, her legs on each side of him, straddling him. He grabbed her from behind. His hand cupped her ass perfectly and when he squeezed he let out a little moan.
She could feel him getting bigger and bigger underneath her. With every movement she made she could feel him growing until his pants were so tight she thought his zipper might pop. She pressed harder into him making him moan a little louder than before.
Realistic Fiction
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I love this story! It is by far one of my favorites and I can’t wait for part two (if there is going to be part two)!