Dear Maxwell,
I m in the process of relearning everything and can’t help my new found fascination with time. Ever since I ve been aware of the other versions of myself, I have been playing with the idea of its contruct. In the debris of my past life, I ve noticed this urgency to rush through the hours of the day. At work, the clock’ s hands would drag time like an innocent sentenced to life in prison. When I’m full of laughter and fun, time seemed to speed up. It confused me when I read about the vastness of time but as I become more intimate with the space between my thoughts, it made more sense. I ve come to understand that the past and future exist as much as the present. I believe that it is the present that gives us the opportunity to redeem our past and shape our future. It made me feel closer to you than ever before and I willingly surrendered to that state of allowance I mentioned before. Now that I have created space for us, you can roam around freely the wrinkles of my brain. You have become so clear to me, like you just wait for me to close my eyes, so we can hold hands. You lead me to our life together and it’s never been more effortless. It was hard to tell if it was a memory or a dream. Somewhere in the close distance, you brush a kiss on my hands and encourage me to sit on your lap. We gaze at a bright full moon from a balcony overlooking a beach. You wrap your arms around me and inhale from the hollow of my neck. I run my fingers through your hair and respond with a kiss to your forehead. You smile in contentment and we silently stare into the sky. The colliding waves accompany our strong heart beats and hammering pulses. An odd wordless comfort we become really good at embracing. Just enjoying the essence of one another and the long awaited reunion. We get creative communicating in every way that doesn’t involve words, until the eagerness of listening to each other’s voices becomes to much to bare. When it doesn’t, we fill each moment with long stares and lingering caresses. Time, a second skin to us, that tickles until the sun cracks the horizon. On another night, we roll around in front of a burning flame, ignoring the comfort of the couch. Laying between each other’s limbs, talking like we were talking to ourselves. Drinking wine and feeding each other cake. Making plans and letting the excitement finally carry us away. After all of this, I can understand now how my soul can miss you and why my relationship with you never felt like a past life but something to come. The blueprint of the soul is made up of karma, desire, and memory. When I took away the haunting memories of the past, our karma and desire can now create memories of the future. Take my hand and let’s allow ourselves the luxary of our dreams. Knowing that at this very moment, I may already be in your arms, makes it that much easier to keep waiting for you. Until then my love….
Beautiful. The way you are able to vividly paint a picture with words…I can see it, feel it. Amazing.