She asked me if I had ever harmed myself.
I immediately shook my head and said no,
That I would never do anything so dumb.
She smiled at me and then quickly changed the subject.
But little does she know,
That underneath my long sleeves
And my blue jeans,
I was the dumbest of them all.
Poetry
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The title and the theme was very interesting and pulled the reader forward. A long while ago, I learned to use symbolic language. It’s a way to write in a hidden or double themed language. Using different words or themes as symbols without flat out expressing the elements.
In this way, almost all writing and words can be interpreted as symbols.
What I picked up from this piece though was a strong longing of much more than the words expressed. If you could find a way to tell a similar story, using symbolic language, to represent the feeling of this piece, you will gain the grips of the reader, while also designing and ironing out the creativity that I know you have, and developing an interesting piece.
Both the flat truth and the symbolic truth hold much. But I can sense the aching for the descriptions of a more complex piece.
This is a powerful piece. The rhyming helps to tie the whole thing together. The title is intriguing and relevant.