Together we’re a galaxy.
Our love was an apostrophe.
Your last words,
the exclamation.
And all those feelings-
That got lost in translation.
Poetry
3 Comments on “Lost”
Perfect extended metaphor using elements of language. The last line is most powerful in my opinion – I picture being in space surrounded by stars just out of reach. (I’m not sure why that image comes to mind; it just does. ) Great piece!
thank you so much for your feedback!
I have always loved reading poems that use language metaphors in them, so I really enjoyed this! My only suggestion would be to either add more space-related imagery or take that first line out since it doesn’t fit the rest of the lines. I think if you have both language metaphors and space imagery, it would make for an awesome piece! It’s just off-balance now since there’s only one space line and the rest are language related.
Perfect extended metaphor using elements of language. The last line is most powerful in my opinion – I picture being in space surrounded by stars just out of reach. (I’m not sure why that image comes to mind; it just does. ) Great piece!
thank you so much for your feedback!
I have always loved reading poems that use language metaphors in them, so I really enjoyed this! My only suggestion would be to either add more space-related imagery or take that first line out since it doesn’t fit the rest of the lines. I think if you have both language metaphors and space imagery, it would make for an awesome piece! It’s just off-balance now since there’s only one space line and the rest are language related.