She looks out the window
Everyone morning wondering will
she ever become happy
She hated herself more than ever
Her hate came from her parents
Growing up her parents blamed her for everything
They were so harsh on her
Her mother was a doctor
Her father was a lawyer
They wanted her to follow their success
The goal was to reach for success
Her happiness did not matter to her parents
They never took the time to learn her
They did not let her hang with friends
They did not know her hobbies
or what she loved
her self-happiness was destroyed
Undefined
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I like the story this poem is telling, however, I challenge you to make it a little less obvious. For example, instead of saying “She hated herself more than ever/ Her hate came from her parents/ They blamed her for everything” beat around the bush a little. Don’t outright tell me why she hates herself, just give me clues. Explain an example of how her parents blamed her for something.
I like that you added a background to your character from “Misery Loves Company (Part 1).” Tagging on to what Lindsay said, try to let your reader experience your poem more than just telling it. Your current presentation has a narrator-like feel to it (Ex. “They were so harsh on her” and “They never took the time to learn her”). Try this. Imagine you had to tell this story but the “narrator” is on mute. However, you can still see the movie playing in your head. I wouldn’t be able to hear that “she hated herself more than ever” or “they did not know her hobbies,” but I could see her crying with her teeth gritted together as she tore a childhood photo in pieces or sliding artwork she spent hours on under the bed before her parents came in the room. I hope this helps, and I’d love to read more pieces from you.