This would be the first Halloween in a long time that I would keep my porch light on inviting Trick or Treaters. I have been couponing this year and had hit the motherload on Halloween candy.
I had the good stuff this year. Snickers, Twix, and Butterfinger to name a few. I was even able to buy some
Russel Stover Halloween chocolate. The kids would remember me this year.
“Does this mean I will have to do this every year now?” I thought, “No, If I can’t find some deals next year,
it’s off with the porch light again.”
I was barely home from work and it was still light outside when the first round of visitors arrived.
Ding Dong, my doorbell rang. I was still changing out of my work clothes. Ding Dong, again.
I quickly dressed and rushed to the door. When I opened it I caught two small visitors walking away.
“I’m here, I’m here.” I said, a little out of breath. “My you two are out early tonight.”
From around the corner of the porch I heard, “We like to get them out while it’s still light outside.”
I craned my neck to look to the side of the porch. Sure enough two Moms were standing there.
“You never know now a-days.” I heard one of the Mom’s say.
“You got that right.” I replied, “Times sure have changed since we were young.”
“You might have a long night ahead.” The other Mom said, “Did you hear about the accident?”
“Is that what all the commotion was.” I said, “I saw all the Fire Engines and Ambulances rushing past on the other side of the highway. Must have happened after I passed.”
“Yeah, sounds like an eighteen wheeler turned over.” She said, “I guess it spilled some chemicals on the road.”
“That’s terrible.” I said, “I hope everyone is alright.” I had completely forgotten about the two Trick or Treaters standing in front of me.
“I’m sorry.” I told them, “Just for that you get an extra piece of candy.”
The two Trick or Treaters couldn’t have been older than five or six years old. One of them was dressed up as a princess and the other as a doctor.
“Did you make those costumes all by yourself?” I asked the princess.
She didn’t say anything, but shook her head yes in response. One of the Moms whispered, “I wish.” She said, “Her costume was expensive.”
“Well it’s very pretty.” I said, as I dropped several pieces of candy in her plastic pumpkin. “And here’s some for you.” I told the doctor.
“What do you say?” The other mom asked
“Thank you.” Both of the Trick or Treaters said in unison.
“So cute.” I thought as they turned and walked back toward the street.
It went on like that for the next two hours. The sun slowly sank and the crickets started singing. I was actually having fun this year. I still had plenty of good candy and had started mixing the Russell Stover in with the other items in the bowl. Every once and a while I could hearsome police or ambulance siren off in the distance. “Must have been a bad one.” I thought.
Ding Dong, the doorbell rang again.
I opened the door to the best Halloween costume I had ever seen. This was reminiscent of some sort of Hollywood costume.
His hair was a mess and he had some sort of fake blood spread all over his mouth and chin. He wore a polo shirt that was stained with dirt and more fake blood. He wore dirty jeans and his feet were bare.
“Wow.” I said, “You must have spent a pretty penny on that costume.”
The Trick or Treater did not say anything, but stared at me with a blank stare. I actually got a little shiver. He was going all out.
“Aren’t you a little old for Trick or Treat?” I asked, as he continued to stare. “Boy you sure are good.” I waved my hand in front of his face. He didn’t even blink.
Behind him I could see that the street was almost completely empty. Only a few Trick or Treat stragglers left.
“You don’t even have a bag.” I said, “Am I your first house?” I asked.
He said nothing, but continued to stare. Then slowly one of his arms raised and he extended his fingers toward me.
“Braiinnnnsss”, he finally said, “Braiinnnnsss”
“Good one”, I told him. “Wait a minute, I’ll get you a bag.” I closed the door and walked to the kitchen to get him a Wal-Mart bag. He could put lots of candy in this bag.
My mind went back to the last time I dressed up on Halloween. I was seventeen years old.
My brother and I spent most of that night causing mayhem and getting into trouble. We had eggs, and we found out quickly how much of a mess we could make if we threw the eggs at a screened in porch. The screen would cause the eggs to spread out wide, like a wet shotgun blast. We’d hit the screen, watch the egg start it’sslow trip down the front of the door, and we’d high tail it down the street.
I passed the television on my way back to the door. The sound was muted, but I could tell that some sort of special report was on the television. Breaking News was scrolling right to left at the bottom of the screen. I decided to take care of this last visitor and then catch up on what was going on.
When I opened the door, I noticed that the Trick or Treater had dropped his head, resting his chin on his chest. He slowly looked up again, and again raised his arm.
“Braiinnnnsss.” He said again, “Braiinnnnsss.”
“Sure is dedicated to the role.” I thought as I looked past him. Two more young children had started walking up the drive toward the porch. My visitor slowly turned toward them.
He slowly shuffled toward the newcomers. “Braiinnnnsss.” He said raising both hands toward them like a Frankenstein Monster.
“Cut that out.” I told him, “You’ll scare them to death.”
I noticed that the young Trick or Treaters were retreating back toward the road and safety. “See.” I said, “You scared them off.”
He stopped, turned, and slowly started walking back to the porch. “Braiinnnnsss.” He said again.
Just then I was startled to hear the tornado siren going off. “Here.” I said “Take the rest of this and get.”
I took the Wal-Mart bag, dumped the rest of the Halloween candy into the bag, and held it out to him.
He didn’t take the bag, just kept on staring. I shook the bag and suddenly he grabbed my hand. Within seconds he had pulled my hand up toward his mouth and bit down on my thumb.
I yanked my thumb out of his mouth and instinctively kicked him off of the porch. Then I retreated inside the house, closed and locked the door.
“Little bastard.” I whispered, as I walked into the kitchen to clean the bite mark on my hand. I turned on the faucet and held my thumb under the running water.
My thumb looked bad, blue lines appeared under my skin next to the bite and I could see them moving their way up my wrist. I had a bottle of Purell hand cleaner on the back of the sink and quickly pumped several squirts on the bite on my thumb. I howled in pain as the Purell slowly spread into the wound.
Feeling dizzy, I thought I should sit down, so I grabbed a paper towel and walked back to the living room. I plopped down on the couch and closed my eyes.
I don’t know what time it was when I woke up, but it must have been late. There was only static on the screen of the television. I slowly stood up, I was starving.
I was craving something and decided to check what I had available in the fridge. There was not too much in the fridge, just a pot of old soup and some Chinese food I had ordered two days ago.
I stared blankly for several seconds and finally closed the door. Still craving something, I walked back into the living room. I could see the empty candy bowl on the floor and remembered I had given that biting a-hole all of my candy. I opened the door and stumbled out on to the porch. The neighborhood was empty.
I decided to visit my friend who lived next door. Maybe she had something to eat…