My soul has been empty for so long it seems
Wandering in an alternate reality
Like Isis searching for Osiris’ body
Never finding what’s missing
Screaming with no one listening
A dead rose, forever frozen
A heart cold, forever broken
I’ve been heartless, so artless
But you say I’m an inspiration
I cannot understand your veneration
So forgive my hesitation
I’m not ready to dive in
I’ll block your mental penetration
With the shield I’ve welded within
I may ignore some of your attempts
I may overlook a few gestures
I may even run away
when I’m feeling the pressure
Now that’s just the surface
There’s so much underneath
But patience and tenacity
is the only way it can be reached
And I understand if you give up the notion
Of having this Goddess’ love and devotion
For she is still human, shattered and bruised
And too afraid that loving her will do the same to you.
She is ME but ME is confused
Epiphanies that lead to clarity every single day
But when the sun sets it takes clarity away
Leaving me holding a pen staring at an empty page
As my vision fades into illusions of rage
And it feels good to be locked inside this mental cage
Poisoning my body
declaring that there is no hope for me
So I’m reaching out to lost souls
To give away my positive energy
Now, I’m drained and there is none left for me
But this is how I chose to be
Or maybe the shadows have chosen me
An easy target to swallow and digest
Into it’s never-ending cycle of frustration and regrets
Adolescent pain that I haven’t healed from yet
Digging deeper into the wounds because it’s the only way to feel
Otherwise, I’d be numb and I’d write this in my will,
To my children, I leave the peace that I was never rewarded
The price was too steep, I just couldn’t afford it
To my friends, I leave the pieces that you all tried to hold together
But leave me with my heart
And pray that it’s lighter than his feather.
The pathway to heaven is truly Divine
I’m just waiting for a sign if that path is truly mine.
Poetry