She sat where she always did, in her window in the hallway at 7 in the morning. why was she always up so early.. she knew because she hated night time and that awful room that smelled of old clothes and bois. Her brothers to be exact
hey what you doing?
wha!! you scared me? what are you doing here so early she asked instead of answering his question. she hated him, he only came at night. she couldn’t believe she use to think he was cute, but he is just her monster.
well, I’m bringing your sister to the store. you missed me
no
don’t be like that, I thought we were special friends
no, she wanted to push him down the stairs, she could do it too. She can jump right on him and he would fall down the stairs and break his neck, she saw it in one of her favorite movies. She hated him above all things.
oh well, I guess I will see you around and he walked in the house. didn’t even knock, asshole.
She should have done it, and since she didn’t do what she wanted to do, she kept thinking about it until her brother B came out,
where you going? she asked him
nonya
come on B, let me come with you
no, that is not happening, I am not having my lil sister hang with a bunch of dudes. see ya, he said as he headed down stairs.
she heard the door open and close from the apartment upstairs. She got out the window in a hurry and rushed inside before who ever it was made it to the second level.
she stood next to the door listening, she wanted to go back to her window before she saw him again. too late, she could hear him heading to the kitchen. She rushed to the sink and turned on the water, grab a cup, the water was running and was starting to get smoking hot, she put the cup under the water as they entered the kitchen,
what are you doing? Rosita asked her with an attitude
nonya, she answered back
don’t play with me, why you playing in water, I’ma tell lurly? she said with a smurk.
aww leave her alone, she ain’t doing nothing
I don’t need you helping me, she said to him,
hey, I’m on your side, he said as if he was hurt by her words.
I don’t want you on my side
why you being such a lil bitch
oh no you didn’t, maaaaaaa, sita in here calling me a bitch, she yelled
and she in here playing in your hot water , rosita yelled
she remember the cup in her hand, she knew she was doing it before it happened, she threw the water on them.
she doused them both. OHH I’M GOING TO KILL YOU! that was hot, Lurly came into the kitchen, what are yall doing in here!
look at what she did. Now I have to change and rick don’t have no other clothes to put on here.
are you sure, he sneak in here at night enough, Rosita looked at her like she wanted to kill her and he just stood there smiling.
shut up, both of you. Honey, go outside somewhere, rosita go where you was going, you will dry and I done told you about cursing in my house, if you that grown you need to be paying rent somewhere
this lady, Lurly, I didn’t curse her,
go, bye, ain’t you leaving, and if I ever catch him, in my house after I done went to bed, don’t blame me if he get shot.
LURLY! rosita screamed
bye,
Rosita ran out the house.
are you playing in my water? she turned to me
I was getting some water, before they came in and started messing with me.
yea, you’re a fucking victim
I am not, Honey screamed,
who are you yelling at? all yall done lost your fucking minds, I swear,
HONEY! Lalai Michelle Price, get your ass in that room now and don’t come out all day.
gladly, she said as she ran out the kitchen. of course she got in trouble. she always do, she could hear Rosita had come back in to change,them, Rosita still complaining about being wet and all I get is to go in the room, she was telling Lurly she should have slapped me. I wish she would have. I would have stabbed her. I care for her not one little bit. she heard the door open, she turned around,
why did you throw the water on them? All I want is one peaceful damn day. clean this room up, and you not going out side.
that’s not fair, she started it, I just wanted some water and then she went to cursing me.
stop it, I don’t want to hear it. you can go to the hallway, Lurly gave in, she knew I wouldn’t go further than that anyways cause I had no friends.
there is a new family moving in downstairs, hopefully they have kids around your age and you can finally have some friends
friends are overrated, who needs them, She answered
that’s not the right attitude, girls need friends
no, I don’t. she said deadpanning
ok, whatever. just thought you might want to go play like normal kids
you saying I’m not normal? she asked Lurly, that would explain a lot
I’m not saying that honey, why you make everything so damn complicated.
cause I’m not normal.
stop it you little shit. she left and slammed the door.
she sat on the bed, wondering why she haven’t ran away yet, she had no where to go she recalled.
her mom didn’t have siblings which is why we the kids deduced she had so many kids. her mom and dad lived far away and she hardly spoke to them, honey recall seeing them once or twice while she was growing up. she can go live with them, the thought crossed her mind and then it became a thing. she ran to Lurly room, she opened the door,
don’t just open my door without knocking, Lurly was on the side of the bed with a needle in her hand. what are you doing?
get out my room now.
ma, what is that?
GET OUT! GET OUT!.
she slammed the door and ran out the house Lurly was doing drugs. she couldn’t comprehend what she just saw. She heard Lurly screaming her name, she ran down the stairs out of the hallway and towards the big court. shit, what she was going to do, she didn’t want to see Lurly right now, she hardly walked outside with none of the others with her. shit she had really done it, she couldn’t go to the tracks, not so soon and twee still in the hospital and the cops still sniffing around and as that thought crossed her mind, she spotted the cop car coming down the street. she stood there watching it creep closer and closer to where she stood on the sidewalk, as they neared her, What you doing? she jumped around, nothing she answered to quickly.
you standing here looking crazy the girl said,
Honey looked at her she was tall and big. huge, dark with a small pony tail I said nothing
oh, I’m English, they call me E. what’s your name?
Lalai
Lalai? what kind of name is that
what kind of name is English
she laughed, you right, both are moms are bitches!!
Honey laughed, cause she didn’t know how close she had hit home
want to walk around?
No, I don’t do that
what, walk around? why
why what
why you don’t walk around, its just walking
she looked at this huge girl and wanted to know what she wanted. no one just walked up to people and start taking, who does that?
you want to fight me? honey asked
no, why I wanna fight you, plus I would kill you, you’re tiny.
Honey feelings were hurt, why do you think you would kill me? she asked lowly
cause you are TINY! how old are you anyways? I don’t hang with kids?
I’m 9, ten in September,
oh, I’m 11
11
yea, 11
you big
what
you big
so
so
anyways, do you want to walk or not?
ok
they walked, did you hear about what happen to twee?
yea
don’t you live her building
yea
have you seen her
no
did yall have to talk to the cops
nn..well yeah, my mama did, she opened the door when they knocked.
yeah, moms are moms, have to talk to the cops, my mom put my brother in jail cause he stole our tv. He is so mad at her. She don’t care none, she say, Maybe his lil ass will learn not to touch people shit, then she laughed
they continued to talk as E and her walked around to the big court, they just took the long route, E knew a lot of kids, she showed her where all the good candy ladies were located through the buildings. they sold candy, cookies drinks, fries, frozen cups, ice cream cones in the summers, donuts in the morning before school or church, to kids who couldn’t go to the stores by themselves, they were located on the outskirts of the project, you had to walk through to get to stores and a lot of shootings happen so most kids couldn’t go without an adult or older kid. B always walked her to the store to get fries. He knew a lot of people too. E taught her all this on their walk through, as they entered the big court, she was frightened, she had never seen so many people in the project together, a basketball game was going on. E, walked through, saying hi to people, Honey wasn’t as invisible as she thought herself, she felt she was on display, she heard her name called more than once, from someone who knew her sisters or brothers, she would look at them and smile and apparently say the right thing, cause they would just move on to another section in the crowd. She never realized that E, would stop at every other porch talk to one or two bois and then they would move on. as they decided it was time to head home, people starting running, Honey was terrified, E screamed at her, RUN, they bout to shoot Her legs couldn’t move, she just stood there as she spotted the guy holding the gun, pointing it at a hallway, she saw him walk with it in his hand, and the fire from the gun, she was pushed to the ground, she couldn’t tear her eyes away, she looked to the porch and came eye to eye with her brother, as her face was grabbed and someone stepped on her back, she heard the screams and saw her brother hit the ground. She tried to get up, she tried with all her might, she finally made it up, she ran towards her brother as people is still running away, she was almost there, she got to him, his eyes was closed, she screamed his name::: BBBBBBBBBBBBB!!!BBBBBBBBB!!!! she saw the gun in his waist ban, she grabbed it she turned she she pointed and pulled the trigger, the kickback was strong, her arm flew up, her head went back and the gun went up. she pressed again, BOOM!, she dropped to her knees, Her finger wouldn’t stop, she had never held a gun, but he shot B. he shot B, he shot B, it ran through her mind, her 9 year old mind.
she was in chaos.
She didn’t know what she was doing. It was shock, she heard this all as her eyes opened, it was bright she blinked a few times. she looked around and saw Lurly, Honey, can you hear me?
Yea she croaked out then everything rushed back she jumped up, BBBBBBBBBBBBB!BBBBBBBBB!BBBBBBBB!
He over there? she pointed to the bed beside me I need to see him, she said
he’s okay
well, he will be, He was shot
I know, I seen it.
you what
I saw the man that shot him? did they catch him? B, she walked up to the bed, he was hooked up to some things, but not as many as she had seen on Tv in some shows. B, B, He opened his eyes. Hey lil sis, glad to see you woke, you’ve kept me company the past two nights.
two nights
yea, we been here two nights already, I was the one shot and you the was that wouldn’t wake up
Oh, I saw it.
silence
I saw who shot you, I’ll help the police.
no, no need he was shot too
that’s great, I saw him B! I saw every thing, the tears started on their own running slowly then faster as she got it out, I saw you fall down I had to get to you. I think I was run over by some people. I just remember somebody falling on me.
what else you remember
that’s it
nothing about
that’s enough, Lurly cut in, yall both need to go to sleep
Im hungry
thats a good sign, the doctor said, I’m dr. Smith, we need to examine you, are you having in pain.
my back, and my arm. she looked down and seen it was wrapped up, what happen to me, she asked as she got in the bed.
you was trampled,
oh, I do feel like I was walked on.
Yeah, you will be sore for a while but nothing was broken and you seem to be okay, maybe a little concussion,
concussion
like cartoon he asked
some, so think of it like this , when bugs bunny make a fool out yosemite sam and he get hit on the head and he little birdies fly around, that’s kind of what happened to you. it was nice meeting you and what you say we get you out of here and back home.
okay she answered the strange adult and he was white like her science teacher. the dr spoke with Lurly and a unknown man for a minute then left.
Lurly wasn’t the lovey dovey type so it was no surprise when she waled up and said, if your ass had been in y our room like you were suppose to you wouldn’t be in here.
Lurlin, the unknown man said
Don’t be Lurlining me, I don’t even know why you here,
where else would I be? he answered
fuck if I know. I only called you, cause I thought you should know
thank you, Im, glad you did, not sure why you haven’t called before now, she’s 9.
I know how old she is.
so you can imagine my surprise, its not the time now, but that’s a conversation for another day.
NO its not, I am not having that conversation, now, later or soon. didn’t you come here to see her, well turn around and see her.and she turned her back and walked and sat in the chair by the door.
He did turn and say Hi
she looked up and saw this guy, he was brown, not tall, squashed nose,
who are you?
I’m your dad
her head swung to Lurly, Bitch really, she said
what the fuck you just called me? jumping up out the chair, hospital or no, I would fuck you up lil girl! rushing towards the bed
the daddy jumped in front of her, Lurline, let me talk to her please.
fuck you and her and she walked out the room, and that lil bitch better have somewhere to go when yall let her out, cause she ain’t coming to my house, who the fuck she thinks she is, and who the fuck she think she was talking too, she was going off all while walking out the hospital, nurses just stopped and looked at her but none approached Lurline as she used every profanity in the written book of profanity.
he turned to me,
whats your name
Lao
Lao, what kind of name is that?
chinese
you don’t look Chinese?
I’m half Chinese my dad, was/is of Asian descent, he answered nervously
so Lao what you doing here? don’t answer I have to pee, she got out bed and went to the bathroom, she locked the door behind her and the tears started, she cried, she cried, and she cried so long and ignored the knocks constantly on the door, she ignored them all, when she was finally cried out, she went to the sink, she looked in the mirror, who do she see? she didn’t recognize the face that looked back at her. She just looked. she didn’t wash her face she looked at the face and realized she is no longer invisible, she see before the age of 10, she saw that face and know its her face.
She sat where she always did, in her window in the hallway at 7 in the morning. why was she always up so early.. she knew because she hated night time and that awful room that smelled of old clothes and bois. Her brothers to be exact
hey what you doing?
what!! you scared me? what are you doing here so early she asked instead of answering his question. she hated him, he only came at night. she couldn’t believe she use to think he was cute, but he is just her monster.
well, I’m bringing your sister to the store. you missed me
no
don’t be like that, I thought we were special friends
no, she wanted to push him down the stairs, she could do it too. She can jump right on him and he would fall down the stairs and break his neck, she saw it in one of her favorite movies. She hated him above all things.
oh well, I guess I will see you around and he walked in the house. didn’t even knock, asshole.
She should have done it, and since she didn’t do what she wanted to do, she kept thinking about it until her brother B came out,
where you going? she asked him
nonya
come on B, let me come with you
no, that is not happening, I am not having my lil sister hang with a bunch of dudes. see ya, he said as he headed down stairs.
she heard the door open and close from the apartment upstairs. She got out the window in a hurry and rushed inside before who ever it was made it to the second level.
she stood next to the door listening, she wanted to go back to her window before she saw him again. too late, she could hear him heading to the kitchen. She rushed to the sink and turned on the water, grab a cup, the water was running and was starting to get smoking hot, she put the cup under the water as they entered the kitchen,
what are you doing? Rosita asked her with an attitude
nonya, she answered back
don’t play with me, why you playing in water, I’ma tell lurly? she said with a smurk.
aww leave her alone, she ain’t doing nothing
I don’t need you helping me, she said to him,
hey, I’m on your side, he said as if he was hurt by her words.
I don’t want you on my side
why you being such a lil bitch, said rosita,
oh no you didn’t, maaaaaaa, sita in here calling me a bitch, she yelled
and she in here playing in your hot water , rosita yelled, and she said Bitch, rosita was looking at her while she said it with that same crooked smile.
she remember the cup in her hand, she knew she was doing it before it happened, she threw the water on them.
she doused them both. OHH I’M GOING TO KILL YOU! that was hot, Lurly came into the kitchen, what are yall doing in here!
look at what she did. Now I have to change and rick don’t have no other clothes to put on here.
are you sure, he sneak in here at night enough, Rosita looked at her like she wanted to kill her and he just stood there smiling.
shut up, both of you. Honey, go outside somewhere, rosita go where you was going, you will dry and I done told you about cursing in my house, if you that grown you need to be paying rent somewhere
this lady, Lurly, I didn’t curse her,
go, bye, ain’t you leaving, and if I ever catch him, in my house after I done went to bed, don’t blame me if he get shot.
LURLY! rosita screamed
bye,
Rosita ran out the house.
are you playing in my water? she turned to me
I was getting some water, before they came in and started messing with me.
yea, you’re a fucking victim
I am not, Honey screamed,
who are you yelling at? all yall done lost your fucking minds, I swear,
HONEY! Lalai Michelle Price, get your ass in that room now and don’t come out all day.
gladly, she said as she ran out the kitchen. of course she got in trouble. she always do, she could hear Rosita had come back in to change, Rosita still complaining about being wet and all I get is to go in the room, she was telling Lurly she should have slapped me. I wish she would have. I would have stabbed her. I care for her not one little bit. she heard the door open, she turned around,
why did you throw the water on them? All I want is one peaceful damn day. clean this room up, and you not going out side.
that’s not fair, she started it, I just wanted some water and then she went to cursing me.
stop it, I don’t want to hear it. you can go to the hallway, Lurly gave in, she knew I wouldn’t go further than that anyways cause I had no friends.
there is a new family moving in downstairs, hopefully they have kids around your age and you can finally have some friends
friends are overrated, who needs them, She answered
that’s not the right attitude, girls need friends
no, I don’t. she said deadpanning
ok, whatever. just thought you might want to go play like normal kids
you saying I’m not normal? she asked Lurly, that would explain a lot
I’m not saying that honey, why you make everything so damn complicated.
cause I’m not normal.
stop it you little shit. she left and slammed the door.
she sat on the bed, wondering why she haven’t ran away yet, she had no where to go she recalled.
her mom didn’t have siblings which is why we the kids deduced she had so many kids. her mom and dad lived far away and she hardly spoke to them, honey recall seeing them once or twice while she was growing up. she can go live with them, the thought crossed her mind and then it became a thing. she ran to Lurly room, she opened the door,
don’t just open my door without knocking, Lurly was on the side of the bed with a needle in her hand. what are you doing?
get out my room now, she yelled!
ma, what is that?
GET OUT! GET OUT!.
she slammed the door and ran out the house Lurly was doing drugs. she couldn’t comprehend what she just saw. She heard Lurly screaming her name, she ran down the stairs out of the hallway and towards the big court. shit, what she was going to do, she didn’t want to see Lurly right now, she hardly walked outside with none of the others with her. shit she had really done it, she couldn’t go to the tracks, not so soon and twee still in the hospital and the cops still sniffing around and as that thought crossed her mind, she spotted the cop car coming down the street. she stood there watching it creep closer and closer to where she stood on the sidewalk, as they neared her, What you doing? she jumped around, nothing she answered to quickly.
you standing here looking crazy the girl said,
Honey looked at her she was tall ,big. huge, and dark with a small pony tail I said nothing
oh, I’m English, they call me E. what’s your name?
Lalai
Lalai? what kind of name is that
what kind of name is English
she laughed, you right, both are moms are bitches!!
Honey laughed, cause she didn’t know how close she had hit home
want to walk around?
No, I don’t do that
what, walk around? why
why what
why you don’t walk around, its just walking
she looked at this huge girl and wanted to know what she wanted. no one just walked up to people and start taking, who does that?
you want to fight me? honey asked
no, why I wanna fight you, plus I would kill you, you’re tiny.
Honey feelings were hurt, why do you think you would kill me? she asked lowly
cause you are TINY! how old are you anyways? I don’t hang with kids?
I’m 9, ten in September,
oh, I’m 11
11
yea, 11
you big
what
you big
so
so
anyways, do you want to walk or not?
ok
they walked, did you hear about what happen to twee?
yea
don’t you live her building
yea
have you seen her
no
did yall have to talk to the cops
nn..well yeah, my mama did, she opened the door when they knocked.
yeah, moms are moms, have to talk to the cops, my mom put my brother in jail cause he stole our tv. He is so mad at her. She don’t care none, she say, Maybe his lil ass will learn not to touch people shit, then she laughed
they continued to talk as E and her walked around to the big court, they just took the long route, E knew a lot of kids, she showed her where all the good candy ladies were located through the buildings. they sold candy, cookies drinks, fries, frozen cups, ice cream cones in the summers, donuts in the morning before school or church, to kids who couldn’t go to the stores by themselves, they were located on the outskirts of the project, you had to walk through to get to stores and a lot of shootings happen so most kids couldn’t go without an adult or older kid. B always walked her to the store to get fries. He knew a lot of people too. E taught her all this on their walk through, as they entered the big court, she was frightened, she had never seen so many people in the project together, a basketball game was going on. E, walked through, saying hi to people, Honey wasn’t as invisible as she thought herself, she felt she was on display, she heard her name called more than once, from someone who knew her sisters or brothers, she would look at them and smile and apparently say the right thing, cause they would just move on to another section in the crowd. She never realized that E, would stop at every other porch talk to one or two bois and then they would move on. as they decided it was time to head home, people starting running, Honey was terrified, E screamed at her, RUN, they bout to shoot Her legs couldn’t move, she just stood there as she spotted the guy holding the gun, pointing it at a hallway, she saw him walk with it in his hand, and the fire from the gun, she was pushed to the ground, she couldn’t tear her eyes away, she looked to the porch and came eye to eye with her brother, as her face was grabbed and someone stepped on her back, she heard the screams and saw her brother hit the ground. She tried to get up, she tried with all her might, she finally made it up, she ran towards her brother as people is still running away, she was almost there, she got to him, his eyes was closed, she screamed his name::: BBBBBBBBBBBBB!!!BBBBBBBBB!!!! she saw the gun in his waist ban, she grabbed it she turned she she pointed and pulled the trigger, the kickback was strong, her arm flew up, her head went back and the gun went up. she pressed again, BOOM!, she dropped to her knees, Her finger wouldn’t stop, she had never held a gun, but he shot B. he shot B, he shot B, it ran through her mind, her 9 year old mind.
she was in chaos.
She didn’t know what she was doing. It was shock, she heard this all as her eyes opened, it was bright she blinked a few times. she looked around and saw Lurly, Honey, can you hear me?
Yea she croaked out then everything rushed back she jumped up, BBBBBBBBBBBBB!BBBBBBBBB!BBBBBBBB!
He over there? she pointed to the bed beside me I need to see him, she said
he’s okay
well, he will be, He was shot
I know, I seen it.
you what
I saw the man that shot him? did they catch him? B, she walked up to the bed, he was hooked up to some things, but not as many as she had seen on Tv in some shows. B, B, He opened his eyes. Hey lil sis, glad to see you woke, you’ve kept me company the past two nights.
two nights
yea, we been here two nights already, I was the one shot and you the was that wouldn’t wake up
Oh, I saw it.
silence
I saw who shot you, I’ll help the police.
no, no need he was shot too
that’s great, I saw him B! I saw every thing, the tears started on their own running slowly then faster as she got it out, I saw you fall down I had to get to you. I think I was run over by some people. I just remember somebody falling on me.
what else you remember
that’s it
nothing about
that’s enough, Lurly cut in, yall both need to go to sleep
I’m hungry, she said matter of factly, as she also realized she was hurting, she went weak, Lurly, grabbed her and helped her back to the bed. Lai, you need to get in this bed and stay- I asked the hospital to put you all in the room together, so that I could be with both of you. How you feeling girl?
I hurt mama, she said, my back, what happened to my arm?, as she just realized it was wrapped in bandages. now my neck, what happened to me? she asked inquisitively for a nine year old.
you don’t remember? Lurly looked at her puzzled, you just told your brother you remembered.
I don’t know, its I can’t make it out, remember everything, I remember b hitting the ground, ma, my head hurt, she grabbed the side of her head.
just as the nurse walked in, how is our patient today? glad to see you woke.
Lai just looked at her, and stayed silent,
the nurse came around the bed and looked at the machines, she turned to look at Lai, how you feeling ? any pain?
Lurly answered, she just said her neck, back and head was hurting.
aww, well lets see if we can take some of that away, ill be back with some Tylenol for you, that should help some.. she turned to Lurly, the doctor is doing rounds and should be in shortly, she said as she headed out the room.
Lai looked over the next bed, B was sleeping, he didn’t look good, his normal black shiny skin was ashy, she guessed he was breathing okay, she looked at all the machines they were both hooked up too and tried remember everything, but it only made her head hurt, she winced and turned to her side.
Lurly was looking at her.
she turned to her, what?
what? lurly repeated
you looking at me like that.
an irritated look came across Lurly face, she didn’t say anything, just went to sit in the chair next to be and I.
The doctor entered, he was tall, like really tall, white with curly black hair, and a huge smile, he reminded Lai of the guy on the show she liked to watch, but she couldn’t recall the name.
Hi, I’m dr. Smith, he approached the bed, he was wearing a white coat, how are you feeling today? the nurse told me you was hungry, tha’ts a good sign.
a good sign of what? Lai asked
he dr. chuckled, if you can question me little lady, I would say you are on your way to going home. I’m just going to check a few things okay, he said cautiously, are you having in pain?
my back, and my arm. she looked down and seen it was wrapped up, what happen to me, she asked as she got in the bed.
he looked up at Lurly, he looked back at me, well, you were in a bit of an accident, but don’t you worry, we are taking good care of you, your mother haven’t left your side since both you and your brother has been with us. now, let me check your neck, can you sit up a little for me, he asked, he felt around and turned her head from side to side, while asking she if felt any pain, when he did this or that. okay all done, you did great, that just is some stiffness since you have been laying down, that will work its way out, the nurse should be bringing you some Tylenol shortly.
he got up from the side of the bed and headed over to B, He approached Lurly, and they spoke to low tones, Lai couldn’t hear everything, what she did hear was a word that she didn’t know what it meant, amanesia, she repeated in her head, trauma, she tried to remember what happened, all she could recall is seeing B fall, trying to make herself remember, her head started hurt.
The doctor talked with lurly for a minute then did some talking to B. he then moved from the side of the bed asked lurly to speak to her outside. they both walked out of the room and stood talking right outside the door. she couldn’t hear what they was saying, so she turned to look at B.
B. she called out quietly
he didn’t make no sound, but turned his head slightly in her direction and tried to smile at her, his lips moved up a little bit, like it hurt to move.
you okay, she asked
yeah, he croaked out at her
I’m sorry you got hurt, she said
its okay, his voice didn’t sound like his voice normally did, it sounded dry and sad
she turned her head away as lurly was walking back into the room
Lurly wasn’t the lovey dovey type so it was no surprise when she walked up and said, if your ass had been in y our room like you were suppose to you wouldn’t be in here.
Lurlin, the unknown man said
Don’t be Lurlining me, I don’t even know why you here,
where else would I be? he answered
fuck if I know. I only called you, cause I thought you should know
thank you, Im, glad you did, not sure why you haven’t called before now, she’s 9.
I know how old she is.
so you can imagine my surprise, its not the time now, but that’s a conversation for another day.
NO its not, I am not having that conversation, now or later. didn’t you come here to see her, well turn around and see her and she turned walked and sat in the chair by the door.
She had forgotten all about the strange man, he had walked out with lurly and the doctor.
He did turn and say Hi
she looked up and saw this guy, he was brown, tall, squashed nose, full eyebrows, as if his eyes had a mustache; full lips and a low hair cut.
who are you?
I’m your dad
her head swung to Lurly, Bitch really, she said
what the fuck you just called me? jumping up out the chair, hospital or no, I would fuck you up lil girl! rushing towards the bed
the daddy jumped in front of her, Lurline, let me talk to her please.
fuck you and her and she walked out the room, and that lil bitch better have somewhere to go when yall let her out, cause she ain’t coming to my house, who the fuck she thinks she is, and who the fuck she think she was talking too, she was going off all while walking out the hospital, nurses just stopped and looked at her but no one approached Lurline as she used every profanity in the written book of profanity.
he turned to me,
what’s your name
Lao
Lao, what kind of name is that?
Chinese
you don’t look Chinese?
I’m half Chinese my dad, was/is of Asian descent, he answered nervously
I have to pee, as she was getting out of the bed, he reached over to help her, she pulled away, I got it, I don’t need no help! she got out bed and went to the bathroom, she locked the door behind her and the tears started, she cried, she cried, and she cried so long and ignored the knocks constantly on the door, she ignored them all, when she was finally cried out, she went to the sink, she looked in the mirror, who do she see? she didn’t recognize the face that looked back at her. She just looked. she didn’t wash her face she looked at the face and realized she is no longer invisible, she sees before the age of 10, she saw that face and know its her face. The man had her face. The man calling her name on the other side of the door. had her face. that bitch, that no good mother of mine she thought, she knew even in a hospital, lurly would slap the shit out her without a thought. She had to remember to say things in her head, no out loud. Lurly always told her she don’t know when to keep her mouth shut. and the monster creep up in her head. she shook her head to clear it away. She wouldn’t think of that now. Her arm hurt, her back hurt, she wanted to lay down, but didn’t want to talk to the man, LAO, what is that and why is he Chinese. nothing made sense. nothing, but when she looked at herself again, she knew she wouldn’t be the same 10 year old ever again.
She sat where she always did, in her window in the hallway at 7 in the morning. why was she always up so early.. she knew because she hated night time and that awful room that smelled of old clothes and bois. Her brothers to be exact
hey what you doing?
what!! you scared me? what are you doing here so early she asked instead of answering his question. she hated him, he only came at night. she couldn’t believe she use to think he was cute, but he is just her monster.
well, I’m bringing your sister to the store. you missed me
no
don’t be like that, I thought we were special friends
no, she wanted to push him down the stairs, she could do it too. She can jump right on him and he would fall down the stairs and break his neck, she saw it in one of her favorite movies. She hated him above all things.
oh well, I guess I will see you around and he walked in the house. didn’t even knock, asshole.
She should have done it, and since she didn’t do what she wanted to do, she kept thinking about it until her brother B came out,
where you going? she asked him
nonya
come on B, let me come with you
no, that is not happening, I am not having my lil sister hang with a bunch of dudes. see ya, he said as he headed down stairs.
she heard the door open and close from the apartment upstairs. She got out the window in a hurry and rushed inside before who ever it was made it to the second level.
she stood next to the door listening, she wanted to go back to her window before she saw him again. too late, she could hear him heading to the kitchen. She rushed to the sink and turned on the water, grab a cup, the water was running and was starting to get smoking hot, she put the cup under the water as they entered the kitchen,
what are you doing? Rosita asked her with an attitude
nonya, she answered back
don’t play with me, why you playing in water, I’ma tell lurly? she said with a smurk.
aww leave her alone, she ain’t doing nothing
I don’t need you helping me, she said to him,
hey, I’m on your side, he said as if he was hurt by her words.
I don’t want you on my side
why you being such a lil bitch, said rosita,
oh no you didn’t, maaaaaaa, sita in here calling me a bitch, she yelled
and she in here playing in your hot water , rosita yelled, and she said Bitch, rosita was looking at her while she said it with that same crooked smile.
she remember the cup in her hand, she knew she was doing it before it happened, she threw the water on them.
she doused them both. OHH I’M GOING TO KILL YOU! that was hot, Lurly came into the kitchen, what are yall doing in here!
look at what she did. Now I have to change and rick don’t have no other clothes to put on here.
are you sure, he sneak in here at night enough, Rosita looked at her like she wanted to kill her and he just stood there smiling.
shut up, both of you. Honey, go outside somewhere, rosita go where you was going, you will dry and I done told you about cursing in my house, if you that grown you need to be paying rent somewhere
this lady, Lurly, I didn’t curse her,
go, bye, ain’t you leaving, and if I ever catch him, in my house after I done went to bed, don’t blame me if he get shot.
LURLY! rosita screamed
bye,
Rosita ran out the house.
are you playing in my water? she turned to me
I was getting some water, before they came in and started messing with me.
yea, you’re a fucking victim
I am not, Honey screamed,
who are you yelling at? all yall done lost your fucking minds, I swear,
HONEY! Lalai Michelle Price, get your ass in that room now and don’t come out all day.
gladly, she said as she ran out the kitchen. of course she got in trouble. she always do, she could hear Rosita had come back in to change, Rosita still complaining about being wet and all I get is to go in the room, she was telling Lurly she should have slapped me. I wish she would have. I would have stabbed her. I care for her not one little bit. she heard the door open, she turned around,
why did you throw the water on them? All I want is one peaceful damn day. clean this room up, and you not going out side.
that’s not fair, she started it, I just wanted some water and then she went to cursing me.
stop it, I don’t want to hear it. you can go to the hallway, Lurly gave in, she knew I wouldn’t go further than that anyways cause I had no friends.
there is a new family moving in downstairs, hopefully they have kids around your age and you can finally have some friends
friends are overrated, who needs them, She answered
that’s not the right attitude, girls need friends
no, I don’t. she said deadpanning
ok, whatever. just thought you might want to go play like normal kids
you saying I’m not normal? she asked Lurly, that would explain a lot
I’m not saying that honey, why you make everything so damn complicated.
cause I’m not normal.
stop it you little shit. she left and slammed the door.
she sat on the bed, wondering why she haven’t ran away yet, she had no where to go she recalled.
her mom didn’t have siblings which is why we the kids deduced she had so many kids. her mom and dad lived far away and she hardly spoke to them, honey recall seeing them once or twice while she was growing up. she can go live with them, the thought crossed her mind and then it became a thing. she ran to Lurly room, she opened the door,
don’t just open my door without knocking, Lurly was on the side of the bed with a needle in her hand. what are you doing?
get out my room now, she yelled!
ma, what is that?
GET OUT! GET OUT!.
she slammed the door and ran out the house Lurly was doing drugs. she couldn’t comprehend what she just saw. She heard Lurly screaming her name, she ran down the stairs out of the hallway and towards the big court. shit, what she was going to do, she didn’t want to see Lurly right now, she hardly walked outside with none of the others with her. shit she had really done it, she couldn’t go to the tracks, not so soon and twee still in the hospital and the cops still sniffing around and as that thought crossed her mind, she spotted the cop car coming down the street. she stood there watching it creep closer and closer to where she stood on the sidewalk, as they neared her, What you doing? she jumped around, nothing she answered to quickly.
you standing here looking crazy the girl said,
Honey looked at her she was tall ,big. huge, and dark with a small pony tail I said nothing
oh, I’m English, they call me E. what’s your name?
Lalai
Lalai? what kind of name is that
what kind of name is English
she laughed, you right, both are moms are bitches!!
Honey laughed, cause she didn’t know how close she had hit home
want to walk around?
No, I don’t do that
what, walk around? why
why what
why you don’t walk around, its just walking
she looked at this huge girl and wanted to know what she wanted. no one just walked up to people and start taking, who does that?
you want to fight me? honey asked
no, why I wanna fight you, plus I would kill you, you’re tiny.
Honey feelings were hurt, why do you think you would kill me? she asked lowly
cause you are TINY! how old are you anyways? I don’t hang with kids?
I’m 9, ten in September,
oh, I’m 11
11
yea, 11
you big
what
you big
so
so
anyways, do you want to walk or not?
ok
they walked, did you hear about what happen to twee?
yea
don’t you live her building
yea
have you seen her
no
did yall have to talk to the cops
nn..well yeah, my mama did, she opened the door when they knocked.
yeah, moms are moms, have to talk to the cops, my mom put my brother in jail cause he stole our tv. He is so mad at her. She don’t care none, she say, Maybe his lil ass will learn not to touch people shit, then she laughed
they continued to talk as E and her walked around to the big court, they just took the long route, E knew a lot of kids, she showed her where all the good candy ladies were located through the buildings. they sold candy, cookies drinks, fries, frozen cups, ice cream cones in the summers, donuts in the morning before school or church, to kids who couldn’t go to the stores by themselves, they were located on the outskirts of the project, you had to walk through to get to stores and a lot of shootings happen so most kids couldn’t go without an adult or older kid. B always walked her to the store to get fries. He knew a lot of people too. E taught her all this on their walk through, as they entered the big court, she was frightened, she had never seen so many people in the project together, a basketball game was going on. E, walked through, saying hi to people, Honey wasn’t as invisible as she thought herself, she felt she was on display, she heard her name called more than once, from someone who knew her sisters or brothers, she would look at them and smile and apparently say the right thing, cause they would just move on to another section in the crowd. She never realized that E, would stop at every other porch talk to one or two bois and then they would move on. as they decided it was time to head home, people starting running, Honey was terrified, E screamed at her, RUN, they bout to shoot Her legs couldn’t move, she just stood there as she spotted the guy holding the gun, pointing it at a hallway, she saw him walk with it in his hand, and the fire from the gun, she was pushed to the ground, she couldn’t tear her eyes away, she looked to the porch and came eye to eye with her brother, as her face was grabbed and someone stepped on her back, she heard the screams and saw her brother hit the ground. She tried to get up, she tried with all her might, she finally made it up, she ran towards her brother as people is still running away, she was almost there, she got to him, his eyes was closed, she screamed his name::: BBBBBBBBBBBBB!!!BBBBBBBBB!!!! she saw the gun in his waist ban, she grabbed it she turned she she pointed and pulled the trigger, the kickback was strong, her arm flew up, her head went back and the gun went up. she pressed again, BOOM!, she dropped to her knees, Her finger wouldn’t stop, she had never held a gun, but he shot B. he shot B, he shot B, it ran through her mind, her 9 year old mind.
she was in chaos.
She didn’t know what she was doing. It was shock, she heard this all as her eyes opened, it was bright she blinked a few times. she looked around and saw Lurly, Honey, can you hear me?
Yea she croaked out then everything rushed back she jumped up, BBBBBBBBBBBBB!BBBBBBBBB!BBBBBBBB!
He over there? she pointed to the bed beside me I need to see him, she said
he’s okay
well, he will be, He was shot
I know, I seen it.
you what
I saw the man that shot him? did they catch him? B, she walked up to the bed, he was hooked up to some things, but not as many as she had seen on Tv in some shows. B, B, He opened his eyes. Hey lil sis, glad to see you woke, you’ve kept me company the past two nights.
two nights
yea, we been here two nights already, I was the one shot and you the was that wouldn’t wake up
Oh, I saw it.
silence
I saw who shot you, I’ll help the police.
no, no need he was shot too
that’s great, I saw him B! I saw every thing, the tears started on their own running slowly then faster as she got it out, I saw you fall down I had to get to you. I think I was run over by some people. I just remember somebody falling on me.
what else you remember
that’s it
nothing about
that’s enough, Lurly cut in, yall both need to go to sleep
I’m hungry, she said matter of factly, as she also realized she was hurting, she went weak, Lurly, grabbed her and helped her back to the bed. Lai, you need to get in this bed and stay- I asked the hospital to put you all in the room together, so that I could be with both of you. How you feeling girl?
I hurt mama, she said, my back, what happened to my arm?, as she just realized it was wrapped in bandages. now my neck, what happened to me? she asked inquisitively for a nine year old.
you don’t remember? Lurly looked at her puzzled, you just told your brother you remembered.
I don’t know, its I can’t make it out, remember everything, I remember b hitting the ground, ma, my head hurt, she grabbed the side of her head.
just as the nurse walked in, how is our patient today? glad to see you woke.
Lai just looked at her, and stayed silent,
the nurse came around the bed and looked at the machines, she turned to look at Lai, how you feeling ? any pain?
Lurly answered, she just said her neck, back and head was hurting.
aww, well lets see if we can take some of that away, ill be back with some Tylenol for you, that should help some.. she turned to Lurly, the doctor is doing rounds and should be in shortly, she said as she headed out the room.
Lai looked over the next bed, B was sleeping, he didn’t look good, his normal black shiny skin was ashy, she guessed he was breathing okay, she looked at all the machines they were both hooked up too and tried remember everything, but it only made her head hurt, she winced and turned to her side.
Lurly was looking at her.
she turned to her, what?
what? lurly repeated
you looking at me like that.
an irritated look came across Lurly face, she didn’t say anything, just went to sit in the chair next to be and I.
The doctor entered, he was tall, like really tall, white with curly black hair, and a huge smile, he reminded Lai of the guy on the show she liked to watch, but she couldn’t recall the name.
Hi, I’m dr. Smith, he approached the bed, he was wearing a white coat, how are you feeling today? the nurse told me you was hungry, tha’ts a good sign.
a good sign of what? Lai asked
he dr. chuckled, if you can question me little lady, I would say you are on your way to going home. I’m just going to check a few things okay, he said cautiously, are you having in pain?
my back, and my arm. she looked down and seen it was wrapped up, what happen to me, she asked as she got in the bed.
he looked up at Lurly, he looked back at me, well, you were in a bit of an accident, but don’t you worry, we are taking good care of you, your mother haven’t left your side since both you and your brother has been with us. now, let me check your neck, can you sit up a little for me, he asked, he felt around and turned her head from side to side, while asking she if felt any pain, when he did this or that. okay all done, you did great, that just is some stiffness since you have been laying down, that will work its way out, the nurse should be bringing you some Tylenol shortly.
he got up from the side of the bed and headed over to B, He approached Lurly, and they spoke to low tones, Lai couldn’t hear everything, what she did hear was a word that she didn’t know what it meant, amanesia, she repeated in her head, trauma, she tried to remember what happened, all she could recall is seeing B fall, trying to make herself remember, her head started hurt.
The doctor talked with lurly for a minute then did some talking to B. he then moved from the side of the bed asked lurly to speak to her outside. they both walked out of the room and stood talking right outside the door. she couldn’t hear what they was saying, so she turned to look at B.
B. she called out quietly
he didn’t make no sound, but turned his head slightly in her direction and tried to smile at her, his lips moved up a little bit, like it hurt to move.
you okay, she asked
yeah, he croaked out at her
I’m sorry you got hurt, she said
its okay, his voice didn’t sound like his voice normally did, it sounded dry and sad
she turned her head away as lurly was walking back into the room
Lurly wasn’t the lovey dovey type so it was no surprise when she walked up and said, if your ass had been in y our room like you were suppose to you wouldn’t be in here.
Lurlin, the unknown man said
Don’t be Lurlining me, I don’t even know why you here,
where else would I be? he answered
fuck if I know. I only called you, cause I thought you should know
thank you, Im, glad you did, not sure why you haven’t called before now, she’s 9.
I know how old she is.
so you can imagine my surprise, its not the time now, but that’s a conversation for another day.
NO its not, I am not having that conversation, now or later. didn’t you come here to see her, well turn around and see her and she turned walked and sat in the chair by the door.
She had forgotten all about the strange man, he had walked out with lurly and the doctor.
He did turn and say Hi
she looked up and saw this guy, he was brown, tall, squashed nose, full eyebrows, as if his eyes had a mustache; full lips and a low hair cut.
who are you?
I’m your dad
her head swung to Lurly, Bitch really, she said
what the fuck you just called me? jumping up out the chair, hospital or no, I would fuck you up lil girl! rushing towards the bed
the daddy jumped in front of her, Lurline, let me talk to her please.
fuck you and her and she walked out the room, and that lil bitch better have somewhere to go when yall let her out, cause she ain’t coming to my house, who the fuck she thinks she is, and who the fuck she think she was talking too, she was going off all while walking out the hospital, nurses just stopped and looked at her but no one approached Lurline as she used every profanity in the written book of profanity.
he turned to me,
what’s your name
Lao
Lao, what kind of name is that?
Chinese
you don’t look Chinese?
I’m half Chinese my dad, was/is of Asian descent, he answered nervously
I have to pee, as she was getting out of the bed, he reached over to help her, she pulled away, I got it, I don’t need no help! she got out bed and went to the bathroom, she locked the door behind her and the tears started, she cried, she cried, and she cried so long and ignored the knocks constantly on the door, she ignored them all, when she was finally cried out, she went to the sink, she looked in the mirror, who do she see? she didn’t recognize the face that looked back at her. She just looked. she didn’t wash her face she looked at the face and realized she is no longer invisible, she sees before the age of 10, she saw that face and know its her face. The man had her face. The man calling her name on the other side of the door. had her face. that bitch, that no good mother of mine she thought, she knew even in a hospital, lurly would slap the shit out her without a thought. She had to remember to say things in her head, no out loud. Lurly always told her she don’t know when to keep her mouth shut. and the monster creep up in her head. she shook her head to clear it away. She wouldn’t think of that now. Her arm hurt, her back hurt, she wanted to lay down, but didn’t want to talk to the man, LAO, what is that and why is he Chinese. nothing made sense. nothing, but when she looked at herself again, she knew she wouldn’t be the same 10 year old ever again.
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