In the deep darkness of night with a twinkling star light. A solar wind-chime shining different colors and making a melody that changes each second. The breeze smelled naturally infused with wild spring flowers. Far away chirping of crickets growing loud and quite very variably. In one Southern California suburb home’s dirt garden laid a little egg, and next to it Sparkle sitting in her white satin prayer blanket, looking up the clear sky with blinking dots. The egg doesn’t seem special or unique, it knew its one among hundreds laid by the same butterfly. Even I had a starting like that reminisced sparkle, “I was in deep darkness of a human’s lowest abdomen once. Laying in midst of thousands of other eggs, it seemed nothing significant or unique about me”.
Few days after, the little egg quickened, there born a new life! Slimy, squirmy, bright greenish, with full of fur like little hairs, the caterpillar emerged from the egg. From the same egg that was laying movement-less few days ago. Sparkle looked deep, “How many different muscles!” She remembered her biology class tidbit, “This little caterpillar has a complex musculature, around 4000 muscles that helps this caterpillar make its moves through this dirt garden. “As the caterpillar eats up its own leaf and moved on in an adventure to satisfy its immense fleshly hunger, she smiled with the thought of reading and re-reading “that hungry caterpillar story” to her little girl.
But there emerged even a deeper thought. She remembers that she was fused, formed, grew, and became a very complex being even before birth. She had a glorious birth with loud screams, and loving hearts surrounded. She is unhappy looking at the caterpillar. It is oblivious to its full potential; it’s stuck to the ground. It rolls in mud, ignorant about the wings hiding in the depth inside it.
Sparkle thinks of the days she staggered in the pit, her lust and sin. She was in her own little dirt, rolling. She never knew the true nature of her, the being that she was meant to be. She lived not realizing possibility to revert to her pristine spirit. The spirit that has capabilities to fly and feel the Creator of heaven and earth. She lived as a caterpillar too, very hungry caterpillar. She indulged in all her hunger. She ate to satisfy her lust, ate more, ate leaves, seeds, and roots but nothing satisfied her lust.
She was just like this caterpillar, she lied, she cheated, she sinned, she was jealous, she was angry and bitter. She was a coward covered in a shell of bravery. She once wallowed in her dirt and wondered, “why she is still hungry?” She knew, she was meant to be more. There was a burning desire to fly in the air, fluctuating her wings, but where is that wing! that she didn’t know. Just like this caterpillar that couldn’t understand why it is hungry? The more it ate hungrier it became, nothing satisfied this form of its being. The power of lust rests in creating little bit more hunger for the substance that appear harmless at first, until we are addicted.
This caterpillar is in its simple, physical, premature form, form that is destined to fly yet floundering in dirt. Destined to raise with fluttering beautiful wings yet locomotive with pathetic little legs.
Many sons of Adam live like a caterpillar as well. Not knowing their wings, holding deep the burning passion to fly free, but never fully metamorphosing into a form that can fly. They are born, raised, live, sin, and die without knowing their wings. Never quickened in their souls, never knowing their Redeemer. Sparkle was deeply entrenched in her thoughts that day.
In a few more days this little caterpillar realized its potential. The more it’s aware of its destiny the more it was getting uncomfortable in this form. “What is this peculiar think?” Sparkle wondered. She quickly recognized the caterpillar turned into a chrysalis. Outside it seemed to change many colors to match the background, so the beautiful internal change can be protected. Just like humans, we can efficiently hide our internal environment by changing colors to fit the unsafe environment. It’s not that odd, when a new life is formed inside, the host protects it by hiding it. Sparkle remembered the days; she hid the beautiful transformation happening to her soul inside. She hid it from the world, even to her family, and to close friends. But there was much happening inside.
She pondered, “how much is happening inside this pupa.” This caterpillar in the process of becoming a butterfly, eats itself up. It digests many of its own parts, those parts not complex. Parts those are not helpful for it to become a butterfly. Even a believer inside the spiritual pupa, leaves behind lustily desires. Sparkle digested many of her previous form as well in the process of becoming a new creation. She liquified many of her parts, anything that was not useful in her old self. Anything that’s doesn’t identifies her as a Christ’s believer.
Parts of caterpillar that rolled in the mud is gone. Difficulty that it faced stuck to ground is gone. As did sparkle once, she removed from herself willful defines against God, shame and condemns that she carried for long. She also liquified all the unkind comments she received, comments she incorporated into her own identity. She left parts of her inclinations. She couldn’t believe this transformation.
Finally, after few weeks she saw a little butterfly with the sticky wings emerged out of the pupa. In the beginning it seemed to be unaware of its newfound wings, it was holding tight to its safety in the decayed reminisce of pupa. But pretty soon it spread its wings and flew free. It rises high and saw the world, mud, and dirt all below, not touching it, but aware of it. It flies beautiful, it fells the freedom, true freedom in fulfilling its destiny as a butterfly.
However free it feels, the butterfly remembers its past, there are memories of it stumbling in dirt, but those memories don’t stop the butterfly from flying high. Those memories are just memories. Those doesn’t create fear in the butterfly. Those memories don’t limit the butterfly’s newfound freedom, and abundance of security it gets through its wings. Just like sparkle, and her freedom, true freedom!
Freedom, she found in being a believer of Christ. Her memories, sin, depravity, abuse, harassment she endured, abandonments she feared, her painful past as creature stuck in her lust, all those are part of her. Her memories, it’s just her memories that’s all. It doesn’t limit her freedom, her security in her Savior, beautiful connection she feels with God, as she flies high defying her lust, and transforming into a spiritual being. She is a butterfly now, no dirt touches her, and the dirt that touched her in the past doesn’t change the truth that, she flies now. Sparkle is amused at the understanding of her spirit flying high, defying space, and time, reaching even to the throne and heart of her Redeemer. She flies as a beautiful butterfly with amazing colors and unhindered freedom. As she sees the little butterfly flying father and farther, Sparkle relives a deep happy sigh. She folds her soft satin white blanket she spreads in her little garden to pray. Looks up to the deep blue sky and smiles. And she walks along her paved path with hidden wings in her spirit. Don’t you worry, she will be back in the garden tomorrow, her flying depends and deepens on these times she spends in this dirt garden, looking up the sky and practicing in this life to fly to another life that awaits.
Short Stories
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