When people describe heart break,
I never understood the severity of it.
Not until it happened to me.
I had my first heart break when I was sixteen.
But that wasn’t my first real heart break.
Not even close.
I had my heart broken again when I was twenty.
I lived with a man who thought it was a good
idea to break up with me over a text message
and tell me to get my stuff out of his house.
That hurt, a lot.
But those don’t compare to the hurt that
My husband made me feel…
They ask me how I know this time was different
I’ve had my heart broken before, what’s
different about this time…
all I can say is when you physically feel
your heart sink from your chest,
When you have to hold your chest at night with one hand
and with the other cupped over your mouth so no one hears
When you have to fake a smile and force laughs and
make everyone think you’re ok,
When you have to cancel plans with friends because the thought of
being out is too exhausting to bare.
When you can look around and see things you care about
breaking, or being ruined, but you cant get up enough energy to
do anything about it.
When you haven’t eaten for days but still fail to feel hungry,
When you feel guilty for having even the slightest smirk on your face because you know its lieing to everyone around you,
That’s when you know its real.
That’s when you know that nothing in this world will ever break
your heart quite the way they did.
You’ll spend your whole life after that protecting what
little is left of your heart.
And then one day,
You’ll meet someone,
they’ll promise you the world,
and They’ll deliver on it.
They’ll want to give you everything and they’ll bring the super
glue to help put back the pieces of whats left of your heart.
They’ll even bring scissors to give you parts of theirs to complete the parts of yours that are missing.
You’ll push them away,
You’ll be afraid.
You wont want to trust them.
You’ll beg them not to stay…
And all because you look at them,
And you know in the little pieces of your heart
that if they ever leave,
All those little pieces will once again fall to the ground.
And it’ll hurt worse than every time before.