I normally consider myself an intelligent person. After all, I AM a Computer Programmer, have excellent writing skills, so I normally don’t subscribe to or entertain the ‘blonde’ moments jokes. I find them generally insulting and not funny. Yes, I’ve been told to ‘lighten up’ or that I don’t have much of a sense of humor. Ok, this is for all you who have said/thought that. I am about to share (and even think it’s funny NOW) my EPIC Blonde Moment, or more like, moments.
While visiting my brother one weekend, he got me hooked on playing scratch off KENO lottery tickets. Well, we played for a time, we won $100 one time (probably have spent more than that since) and then the game fizzled out. So, I decided to try the Red, White and Blue scratch off ticket since it was around the 4th of July. Now this game is totally different than Keno, but how hard could it be, right? It’s a scratch off ticket. (See below).
Well, in my ‘blonde’ mind, I saw Two rows (think KENO, but a lot less Rows). Each Row had a number on the Left “Winning Numbers” and then 5 numbers to the right for you to reveal to win (or not) an amount. So, I’m thinking GREAT, two chances to Win. (Keno gives you several rows to play, but the matching numbers need to be within THAT row, not in other ones). And, if you get a STAR, you win TRIPLE that amount. Ok, here we go. Let’s win some Money!
1st Row, Winning Number: 07 Scratch, Scratch, Scratch, Scratch, Scratch…..darn! No Match.
2nd Row – Winning number: 19 Scratch, Scratch, Scratch, Scratch, Scratch….dang! No match again! Grrrrr. Of course the 1st Row had a 19! Why couldn’t that sucker be in the 2nd Row. I’d have won at least $5. Oh well, that one is a dud! (Throws ticket away).
No need to repeat the action sequence, as you can see what went on over a period of time with multiple tickets. This game sucks, I thought. Who ever wins on this thing! I gave up on it until just the other day. Maybe it was stubbornness at this point, but I was determined to find a winner on this darn scratch off!
(I can hear the folks in Gamblers Anonymous laughing now). And she’s blonde, oh dear!
I bought 5 tickets, four of which were duds, and then the final ticket.
Winning number 1st row: 11
Scratch, Scratch, Scratch, Scratch, Scratch. (11, 19, 16, 06, 16)
Winning Number 2nd Row: 16:
Scratch, Scratch, Scratch, Scratch, Scratch. (11, 08, star, 11, 09)
Are you freaking kidding me? All these matching numbers, but they are not in the right row! Grrrr!
I decided to flip the card over and read the playing instructions:
Match ANY of YOUR NUMBERS to the Winning numbers and Win those amounts. ANY of your Numbers, ANY! Didn’t say a DARN thing about having to be in THAT row! I felt so blonde and so dumb at the same moment and I’m still kicking myself, but that time I won $38 bucks and a valuable lesson.
Scratch on, Lottery winners!
WVPoetrygirl
FB, Instagram, Twitter: WVPoetrygirl
Humor
Comments are closed.
Likes
1013 Views
Share:
I loved reading your short story. I can hear the humor in this piece and it actually made me laugh. Good work!
But I want to know, how much money did you end up loosing?
lol…Thank You. Unfortunately, that is the ‘still kicking my butt’ part of it, because I had played the scratch off tickets multiple times over several weeks and recall several times having numbers match, but not in the row I thought they should be in, so who knows! I’m just hoping that whatever amounts they were, they were really low, like $1 or something! The max amount you can win on a ticket is $7,0000.
Curiously though, I took note the other day (when I discovered what I was doing) of the poster next to the lottery machine which shows which games have paid out what amounts and I noted “Red, White and Blue” game was near the bottom with less money paid out….wonder why? LOL Perhaps I’m not the only confused scratcher. Thank you for your feedback. – Anita
oops….had an extra ‘0’ there….max you can win is $7,000.