They said nothing lasts forever,
But her pain feels immortal.
Her days spent smiling and happy,
But her nights spent crying in pain.
She’s tired of feeling pain,
She wants to make it stop.
She finds the small razor blade
That’s hidden in the small box inside her nightstand table.
She cries harder and harder
The closer and closer the blade gets to her clean, pale skin.
It finally touches her wrist and she bites down hard
To keep from screaming out in pain.
Her eyes open once again.
Her white skin, now stained with red.
Her head is spinning, her breathing rough.
But she doesn’t stop.
She repeats the process.
Again, and again, and again.
And though her arm is completely stained red, and her body is shaking in pain,
She relishes in the feeling.
The feeling of anything else but the throbbing pain in her heart.
The feeling of finally being free, even for just a little while.
Her breathing finally slows,
Her tears finally come to a stop.
Her arm is wrapped in cold wet rags,
Stinging in her open wounds.
She stares silently, blankly at the pale blue wall
as the blood stops flowing and the stinging goes away.
She thinks of the damage she has done to herself this night,
Of the scars that will forever mark her skin.
But she does not care.
Battles are meant to fought.
She’s fighting like hell.
But she doesn’t know if she’s winning anymore.