I’ve a confession to make. I love this platform! Finally I’ve found an outlet where I can plug my foolish thoughts like an intercourse. I know I’m weird but who isn’t? I’m not saying you’re weird because you like to read my crap. Well that’s what it is, just cyber-style sitting on an E-toilet and puffing on an E-cigarette, and dropping number two. Or just one.
The kind you need an umbrella to protect you from getting wet, ladies. I know I’m not the only one who got you wet. Obviously you’re married to the man you love. So do not be offended by my libertine serpentine tongue forking your twin cavities below your waist, ladies. Cum on, you know what I’m just messing wit you. You, the audience is my pussy. And all my adoring fans. I feel so cool when they turn on. After all, it is Summer. Well, not officially yet. Because it isn’t June 21. Today’s seventh.
I don’t know why I’m posting this crap to tell you the truth. Maybe I’m just crazy talking to myself. Because basically this is what this is, I’m yakking to myself. Pecking away on the keyboard like a lunatic chicken without its body because it’s decapitated, okay. I’m no fool, though. At least I can express myself in my own twisted verbs and nouns ….. and I’m not sure about grammar. Yeah, I had D- in English class back in high school. So it’s been a long road for me. Not having comprehension because, perhaps due to falling asleep in class. Snoring didn’t help. And getting kicked out of the school didn’t help either, because I threatened the teacher into giving me his lunch tickets. And also payment for protection, which he gave. But then this motherfucker wouldn’t give me a passing grade! What the fuck? He’d rather give me his hard earned dollars, which isn’t much because he’s a teacher, but he rather get beat up than give me a fucking passing grade, like at least a C. That’s all I ever wanted from this high school teacher during my senior year, just give me a passable grade, okay, dafuq! Damn that man. He ruined my life. I was still illiterate!
Then one day I got kidnapped by this crazy motherfucker! This fucker was more crazier than me! Well then I realized I was looking in the mirror. I kidnapped my own mind somehow. I don’t know how I did it but I made myself type some few words at first, and took it from there ever since. Every day I’d study all the disciplines needed to master the art of typing English language onto the screen. Only thing is, still to this day I TYPE WITH ONLY TWO FINGERS EACH ON MY RIGHT AND LEFT HAND. So that’s four digits pecking away right now. Yeah well I didn’t tell you I was born that way. I’ve a thumb and an index on both my hands. Don’t feel sorry for me, ladies. I’m told by my many female friends that I’m good with my digits. That’s because I’m good at math. Two plus two equals four. Play your pussy and anus like carrying a six-pack. Abs I got. Milk spilt on the floor makes me cry……
Yeah, it’s getting late …… ( yawning) ……
goodnight.
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War.
That’s what Tai Wong thought he heard his big brother Cychan saying to his good friend Lohan, who’s also his training partner. Tai is washing dishes in a large wooden bowl sitting on top of a spool bench with his back turned, filled with hot water and soap. While his older brother and his buddy are sitting at the table in the kitchen of their concrete trailer home. It was built by some Fang Shoeway master, or simply Tai’s father. His father was a philosophical man; a thinking man, he was against violence of any kind. Unlike his sons, Tai and Cychan, they love to fight. Ironically, that’s how he was murdered.
His jealous rival Dym Summ was an expert in the Golden Bald Eagle Fist style of Kungfu. And also made his living making houses. Their father was killed simply because he could not, or more aptly, refused to fight. Thus easily becoming a punching bag for the likes of Dym Summ who’s always eager for a fight. Tai and Cychan vowed vengeance upon seeing both their parents found lying faced down in a pool of blood in an alley near their home with unrecognisable faces. Because their faces were scratched out.
Sadly, his mother was at the wrong place at the wrong time. She was a stubborn woman who refused to stay in the safety of their trailer. She insisted upon being right next to her beloved husband. When they went looking for Dym Summ at his home near the river Honshu, the man seemed to have vanished. No one knew what became of the man. But some rumors were heard he had gone to work for Lord Jihan Shun of Singsing’s Fields. Regardless of the rumor Ty and Cy bowed to never forget their parents murder at the hands of Dym Summ.
“I hear Lord Woo Tang’s general Lee Chi’s armies are marching through the capitol city of Fan-shan province and rounding up all the able bodied men for the up coming war against his rival, Lord Jihan Shun.” said Cychan upon finishing his cup of green tea. Lohan simply nodded his agreement, and just stared at the cup. He heard the same from the gossiping folk at the market square in the middle of their little town, Shunam. That’s all people are talking about these days, war.
Tai over heard everything, and couldn’t keep his mouth shut. He turned around, “What’re we going to do, when they come marching here, big brother? After all, our town will be next, we’re only 10 miles away. Only thing separating our town from the city is the Forest Mutang, which has the main dirt trail leading straight towards Shunam!”
“Be quiet, you fool! How dare you interrupt our private conversation. How many times I’ve told you not to interrupt when elders are engaged in conversation,” His brother gave Tai that stern look of warning. “If you’re finished with the dishes, you need to get some fire wood for the central heating system. Now get to it, or else!” Cychan made a fist, and shook at his little brother.
Tai rolled his eyes and turned around, and in mocking tone,” Yes sirrrr!” Quickly running out of the trailer as if being pursued by dragons, outside is a welcoming air. It was early in Autumn, and yet the air was humid at times like today. But the nights are becoming cold, so the reason for gathering some ‘firewood.’
My brother’s such an asshole at times. Tai Wong murmured to himself as began walking towards Forest Mutang for some quick fire wood. His brother owned the trailer now, being the eldest by five years over Tai. Now also a pseudo-parent to him as well. His big brother is certainly more stern than his father ever was. And he can definitely fight. Tai can never hope to beat his brother in a sparring match. Never mind a real fight. Cy is a lot taller than Tai, and also very muscular. Shaking his head in frustration because Cy never listen to anything he had to say. He held his head high with self dignity and kept on walking towards his destination. It was a breezy day, but slightly humid. Tai began to perspire a bit. But the wind felt good while walking along on the main dirt road looking at the fields of tall green grass swaying to its direction. And the skies above are cloudless; the sun bursting with the promise of not leaving too soon before Winter arrives.
On the way Tai saw his best friend Deelong coming out edge of the Forest Mutang. At the same time Deelong waved at Tai, now running at full speed. And in no time they met, and gave each other their secret right handshake; by grabbing of the forearms and sliding into a regular handshake, and then a tapping fists.
“What’s up Deelong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost just now, why so pale?” asked Tai. Noticing his tall friend with red hair sweating, and breathing too hard. It was more than that, he seem to be on edge.
“I almost got killed, that’s why! I was looking for some firewood near the river Bai-Ju, when suddenly I saw a one-eyed scythe-tooth tiger! I just fucking freaked out and ran like a sheetah!” said Deelong gasping for breath in between his words.
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Hello. My name is Fromm Uranus. Yes, my last name is named after a planet. Anyway, I am a professional liar. Or a writer of fiction, or realistic bullshit. Of course, you probably know that if you’ve read any one of my short stories ….. some folk call it “pure bullshit trash lit” ….uh well …. Hey! How about I tell you another bullshit ….. like only I can tell it, right? So how about if I tell you another one of my too many fucked up stories, huh?
No?
Too bad.
I’m going to tell you anyways. Perhaps the worst of the lot. The worst of the worse that I’ve got somewhere inside the green pea brain of mine; as small as a smallest stone, it’s simply stoned! But the problem is …. is that I’m not a good enough of a writer to give you the full detail of this ‘idea’ that I have. Have been actually for awhile now come to think of it. And it all began this crazy notion of mine, what horror could be. Simply stepping out of my house and standing on the steps, looking into the full moon and puffing on my Dutch packed with Arizona mixed with Hydro, or being in a fluid state of mind, get it? …..
Something so horrible and unspeakable, I have to write it! Only because, if I don’t, then I’ll never do it because I’ll forget it! So it’s now or never. So that’s why! The sake for the sake of doing ……… SO HERE I GO!!!
….Umm … okay , let’s see ….. umm ….
Okay,
now picture in your mind our planet Earth. Most likely you envision a blue orb with some clouds in it, and the background is mostly black with tiny specks of stars. If not, then it doesn’t matter. So long as you can read, I’ll be your guide to a disgusting horrible fictitious future for … us. Yes, we the foolish humans. About seven billion plus population soon heading towards eight. And continuing on with fucking, multiplying and consuming every fucking thing on this one planet we all depend on because there are no other planets that we can go to. Not that there isn’t a habitable planet somewhere out there, I’m quite sure that there is at least one out there ….actually millions! Yes, I said it. Millions. The problem. We just are not smart enough yet to get to that stage where we can travel eternity in a relatively very short amount of time. So let gravity pull us down back to this little planet of ours. We’re surely fucking it up because of our insatiable appetite for Food and Energy. Plants, animals and heat. Heat as in global warming. There once was an Ice Age, now we’re in a Petrol Age. And I’m not here to debate the subject ….remember … I’m just trying to make a sorry ass attempt at story telling. So put your hands down, and shut up! Listen! Something we don’t do. I’m telling y’all the end is near ……
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THE SCENE :
Saturday afternoon in July …..
There’s a little girl sitting on a chair behind a lemonade stand on the front lawn of the house and so her back is turned towards ….
her mother.
Brenda is looking through the screen of the bay window partially open on the left side inside her dark dining room. She closed all shades to make sure it was dark enough inside, so the outside can’t see into the darkness of her semi-tinted windows. Watching her beloved only child, eight year old Cindy. The love of her life. About a month ago Brenda gave Cindy a typical kid’s birthday party consisting of fun and games and an entertaining clown. All went well, she was happy with her life, even though her husband died of heroin overdose last year! No one knew he was a junkie, not even Brenda. But she’s over it now. He had two million dollar life insurance. Just like her previous husband, who also had two million dollar life insurance for Brenda in case he died. And indeed he did die. He died crashing into the boulder near the desert highway. It was determined he was drunk, case closed. And she had another late husband, her first, or Cindy’s father. He had a boating accident, crashing into a rocky shore. He too had the life insurance for Brenda. She appreciated his loving generosity, but the other gift was even more precious, Cindy! For one thing, Brenda always wished for more than financial security is a child. Especially a daughter, so she can teach her child her wisdom, how life works!
Life’s good and she knows definitely her child has a happy one as well. Because Brenda considers herself a good mother, the very best!
This is Cindy’s first lemonade stand, and of course Brenda’s quite apprehensive. Recently she saw the news about the serial killings of children in another distant state. But never the less, for Brenda, that is worrisome enough. Although thousands of miles away the threat; however, it was never too far away enough for Brenda’s too close for comfort sentiments. So she is watching intensely Cindy as of this very moment. Even shutting off her I-phone. The less distraction the better she can concentrate like the hidden camera; a hawk zeroing on its mouse unseen, until the last moment. Standing in front of the window in the dining room, Brenda has her scoped rifle ready by her side. Just in case, you never knows was her logic. A mother can never be too obsessive about protecting her only child, as far as Brenda is concerned.
My Cindy, my baby. You look so pretty with your long straight blonde hair, and sitting out there patiently waiting for some customers. It’s only been five minutes now since you’ve started. Oh mommy loves you so much, honey. You know that I want to be right next to you out there in the front lawn, but you want to be ‘miss independent.’ – That’s my baby girl! Still, I’m going to be watching you, honey. Just in case, never know. I can’t help myself. Mommy will always be mommy, no matter what …. and who’s this?
Brenda grabbed her rifle and began aiming at this slightly tall man with dirty blonde hair; parted on the left side, and wearing glasses. She can see clearly because of the scope’s lens. This man’s head is as vulnerable as a sudden burst of ripe tomato! If he try anything funny, anything! Brenda’s ready to pull the trigger at any moment if needed, for she had plenty of practice at the nearest shooting range in her neighboring town of Bethlemher. “I’ll kill you motherfucker.” whispered Brenda to herself.
“Hello little girl, can I buy me a cup?” asked the tall young man wearing glasses with a friendly smile.
Okay. Its fifty cents, mister.” said Cindy without hesitation. Upon receiving the two quarters from the man, Cindy quickly dropped it into her money jar. Clang! Clang ! And slowly began pouring the lemonade from the pitcher glass into a plastic cup. She was being careful not to spill it, mommy taught her well. Now filled near the rim, Cindy gave the man the cup of homemade lemonade. And she also said, “Thank you!” Just like mommy told her to say when someone buys.
The tall man greedily finished the cup in two gulps. “Ah! That was very good! Hi, my name is Jeffery Dahmer. And what’s your name, little girl?”
“I’m Cindy, and my mom told me not to talk to strangers.” Cindy replied.
Jeffrey smiled at her; And at the same time raised his right eye brow, turning his head slightly at an angle, and grinning even more at Cindy. ” Oh I see. Your mother is very… smart lady.” Immediately Jeffrey looked at the house, and the dark semi-tinted windows. Suspiciously, he thought he saw a movement in the windows; and a sudden tiny red light’s appearance… on his forehead? And suddenly he didn’t feel comfortable. “She’s right about that. Never talk to strangers. Okay Cindy, thanks for the lemonade, and you have yourself a profitable day.” Too bad you’re born with a womanhood, and not the lovely cock to suck …and eat. Jeffrey smiled at himself, and at Cindy before he walked away down the street.
“Bye mister!” said Cindy as she was watching the man go down the end of the street, and disappeared into next street.
Reluctantly, Brenda shut off the radar and lowered her rifle.
- He had me going for a second. I wonder what he said? Yet, I know my Cindy well. I bet she told him what I told her to say. In case someone talks too long; especially a man, tell him, I’m watching from the house. And I have a gun! No, no, no. Couldn’t tell her that. Ha ha ha… Brenda was smiling at her thoughts when suddenly another potential threat came in a grey minivan
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summer of ’91
The killer entered Teddy B’s. He’s looking for his next victim. If he’s successful, he then becomes a serial killer. He needs to kill his third victim before he officially becomes one. He knows this shady little bar known for all the lowlifes hanging around, especially the crackheads. Female crackheads. Addiction is a bitch. And all women are bitches. Including his own mother. He pushed her downstairs and she died of a broken neck. That’s how he killed her recently. No one will know and he can continue to receive her check. And last week he killed his second victim. A street prostitute easily lured with an offer of crack cocaine as a bait at the end of his rod. Like the
rod, he shall not spare a spoil child. He stabbed her repeatedly while she was sucking on his dick. No one will know because she was poor and black. And no one will know that he selected a sweet treat called Candy. Yes, that’s her real name. She’s a crackhead, or at least she looks to be. The killer easily saw the look Candy gave him while he ordered his first drink. That particular look of understanding, tacit eye contact. In fact, she came up to him,”You need a date? my name’s Candy.”
“Sure.”
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we met at the Single’s Fruit Bar near my home
a place where ‘Fruiters’ can meet and not be alone
a Private Club for those born with the ‘Fruits’
like all ‘Members’ we wore our birthday suits
only way one can become member of the club
and now in my room we are about to make love
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The Wheel of Death or The King’s Justice
it’s a game no one wants to mess with
unless you’re a criminal dumb enough to dare
commit a crime inside our beloved Kingdom
then
I don’t care what happens to you
you stupid fool!
The Wheel of Death or The King’s Justice
a pie chart with twelve slices of ending one’s breath
where the Wheel stops hopefully it’s a guillotine
and not the other eleven pieces ready and eager
oh well you stupid fool!
the criminal!
you’re going to straight to hell right after that!
did you know that?
and incredibly, another plane flying into the other tower …..
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Kent : Hello, Sir. My name’s Clark Kent. I’m a reporter for the Daily Planet. And I’ve set up the interview in this basement because of private concerns. Which I can’t disclose due to the sensitive nature in relation to this interview which we shall conduct shortly. But first, please Sir, can you state your name and your occupation.
nebulouspotter : My name’s nebulouspotter. Or just call me, Neb, for short. And I’m a sanitary engineer working for Harvard University.
Kent : Thank you, Sir. Now I like to proceed with our interview, so shall we begin?
Neb : Sure. Shoot.
Kent : What exactly is your agenda coming here on this platform called, Noahwriting? Other than posting poetry or short stories, what motivates you coming here?
Neb : Getting personal are you? Let me tell you boy! First of all …. stay away from that cunt, Lois Lane. I’m telling you she’s got a Kryptonite pussy, it will melt your dick away! And you won’t be Superman no more, or a mildly disguised nerd trying to be reporter! Yeah, there’s your answer! That’s my motherfucking agenda! Now ask me a more ‘professinal’ questions relating to the site, than say trying to dig into my psyche. It was stupid trying to probe into my head, buoy! Now ask me something more pertinent to this site, rather than personal, capiche?
Kent : ‘Gulp’ …. Okay, Sir. Wha… what is … is your personal favorite post so far?
Neb : Good question. Let’s see …. if I had to pick one out of all of them ….. why that’s easy! It’s “H n H” or Heaven and Hell! It brings tears to my eyes every time I read it! Why? Because it’s the best love story I’ve ever read! And it came out of my head … like orgasm spewed from me grey matter splattered onto the screen, and everyone, including you, are swallowing my nebulous jism! Influenced by cannabis sativa! HA HA HA AH AH AHHHAAAHHAHAHHH AHA HA HA HA!!!!!!
Kent : Sir? Are you okay?
Neb : Jest because I laugh like that, you think I’m crazy … don’t cha? Don’t reply, boy. Next question?
Kent : Uh … alright, Sir. I’ve noticed that you’ve stated on one of your posts, that you’ve stated the pictures on your posts are your own …… personal drawings? Even the awesome picture on the palindrome post, Sir?
Neb : Buoy! For a Superman in disguise, you sure is a one dumb mofo! Did I not say, “I DREW THEM!” Dafuq you don’t understand a simple statement, it’s not complex, you foo! Now the next question!
Kent : Umm … okay, Sir. It seems to me that you’re quite fond of marijuana …. umm … do you write under the influence, Sir?
Neb : FINALLY! YOU’VE ASKED THE RIGHT QUESTION THAT I WAS HOPING YOU’D ASK, INSTEAD OF MUMBLING AND FUMBLING YOUR WORDS, REPORTER! AND THE ANSWER IS ………… YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERY TIME!!!!!! ALL THE TIME!!! I’M STONED OUT OF ME MIND AND HAVE THE URGE TO WRITE MY ASS OFF!!!! does that answer your question( in a very calm voice, all of a sudden!)
Kent : Sir? Excuse me please, I need to use the restroom ….
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Once upon a time in my enchanted life of reveries
or simply indulging my thoughts elsewhere besides the one straight in front of my eye testicles
so
I didn’t see exactly where I was going
so
I accidentally bumped into the massive bosoms of a giantess with my lips kissing her hard nipples
I am three feet tall ….. ahem ….. maybe she’s of average height ….. not really a giantess …… anyway….
I said,” I’m so sorry miss! I did not see you because I was so lost in me thoughts, you know what I mean? Just didn’t see you at all even though I was looking straight at you! However, I wasn’t really looking at all because I was thinking so deep that I was blinded by it! So understand, Miss? I simply didn’t see you at all!”
and
she said,” Why are you shouting at me? I can hear you perfectly fine, little man. You’re not that far down that I can’t hear you. And I agree with your explanation of why you boldly kissed my tits!”
and
then she proceeded to slapping the shit out my face!
with her fatalistic feminist open right hand slapping my left stupefied cheek with an awesome power only a woman highly offended could wield with such powerful and terrible consequences of me being a fool at the moment…..
well
I can proudly say I took it LIKE A MAN!
and
at the same time cried LIKE A BABY!
yes
I fell down on the ground because of the most powerful slap ever! Man or a woman’s hand, it was the most powerful slap ever!
I was nursing my right side of the face which had a hand imprint, a fiery red! And it was throbbing with excruciating pain rippling across the surface of the tenderized soft tissues of my contorted anguished face!
and
she gave me one more wicked eyed look of an executioner before she casually walked away like as if she…
accidentally stepped on a … dog shit?
YES.
I swear as I was still laying there on the dirty muddy ground still in shock, comforting my throbbing cheeks with my own hand….
I was just staring at her after she made her farewell speech, she ….. she …
I swear …
I think I saw her wiping her shoes on the ground as if she stepped on a …
DOG SHIT!
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all these lonely souls for whom the bell tolls with
razors
pills
or
just falling down into gutters of despair
life’s unfair
it’s complexity of neurotic impulses guided by daily stress
to go on
treading the world where only existence is the self going round and round as if a gerbil
in it’s cage
and the cage is on the floor next to the bed of its owner
she’s a sleeping beauty now……
there’s a nightstand with an open empty bottle
her eyes will never open
nor
will she feel pain
anymore
and someplace on the other side of the planet
a child is living a nightmare
no one will suspect nor connect looking at all the family photograph with smiley faces
her daddy
her guardian
her provider
her secret lover
while mommy’s passed out from her daily cocktails too many
and their next door good neighbors are arguing again intoxicated
while their teenaged son’s in his room blocking out the noise with headphones watching gay porn
contemplating a razor
or maybe a rope
for whom the bell tolls
the silence
comes as a friend
a friend
called
THE END
……………………………………………………………………………………….
the world keeps turning around
on its axis
spinning out of control
for the driver intoxicated in crisis
looking straight ahead into the heart of darkness
crashes into an oncoming truck
out of luck
dies on site in flames
who’s to blame but only the dead
and now the newly deceased left his wife pregnant
and his child fatherless
probably better off for the kid
when he becomes a man writing this private shit!
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Undefined
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It makes no sense, I know that. I just couldn’t fall asleep, having drank coffee late into the night. So I typed what ever nonsensical words came into me head. And you know what? I’m going to use this post as a “draft.” So below the ‘goodnight.’ you’ll read something incomplete. I don’t care if I’m breaking some rule here, I just need me a virtual note pad, that’s all. So sorry for wasting your time, curious one.