I can still remember the very first time I tried Crystal a drug that slowly destroys your memory and will finesse its way back to you regardless of what the circumstances are. I was 13 when I first did it and on and off I can say a good 25 years of my life have been very destructive due to this addiction. Its finally catching up to me and I feel as if sobering up only gets more and more difficult for me to do no matter where im at in life. I know Im a fucked up person and really do want to seek help but the question is, Im a ready? I dont know if I have to go to jail for a few months that’s an option in mind as of now. The state of mind is not good and at this point feel nothing. Im numb and Its time I snap out of it. My duties are calling me so im cutting this short. Im back after a couple of days but better late than never. Ive been hanging in there despite the bullshit I go through here at home my siblings brought a serious matter to my attention just yesterday about my mom falling to depression due to her sisters and their drama, I normally ever care to be involved in any family anything! Im on drugs so that makes it hard to do such. Mom is very depressed and nothing seems to lighten her up, No! Shes not one to fall in depression. Shes one of the strongest ruthless woman I know so of course its all to my surprise, I decided to cut her some roses from my garden and hoping I find the motivation I need to go show her I care all though I stay 25 minutes away from where she resides which is also my hometown. A little city in the Orange County area in Cali of course. Im one to speak my mind high or not and my family has came to accepting me as is all though they rather not be around me they only do it for the audience, as for me, I just dont give a fuck to fit in anyones box, Im different and I own that like no other. Im gonna be 38 years old this year and can sincerely say that I feel no older than a 25 year old woman deep inside of course, Im grateful for all and always will be.
Narrative Nonfiction
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The fact that you’re typing that our and questioning if you’re ready is a big step. Good luck with everything.