I miss you too. I want to see you, but I am scared. Every time I leave alone from you, it is like the end of the world for me. It may be funny to some, but it is very real to me. And it is not the same fight for me. It is a different fight moving us closer to, or further away from, each other every damn time. A separate, painful loss of hope every damn time. And, I feel so incredibly fragile right now like I will shatter at the sight of you. The less I rely on my typical fallback of heavy drinking, the less I sleep, and the more I feel anxious and vulnerable. I am working on it in every way I can, but change is slow and I am aching to be near you. Touch your face, hold your hand, kiss your lips. You are my only solace and my most painful wound. My only remaining novocaine for the madness of this world amd my greatest passion. My emotional alarm clock and the only reason I get any sleep at all. I want it be just the simple fact that I love you but I don’t trust myself to come through for you. Make no mistake, nothing about any of this changes my mind. You are the one. You have always been the one. I will do whatever it takes to get you in my arms for as long as you want to be there.