No words
No symbols,
No light.
Just coldness
Just night.
“Cry”, i might,
“lie”, i will,
“Feel”, i always do
so, why so blue?
I….have NO clue.
There is a small sense of pride,
but a big sense of shame.
There is a tiny gleam of light,
but a large shadow of darkness circling around my heart.
People say
“go”
“go”
“don’t slow down”
“run”
“run”
“don’t think about it”
“do it”
“do it”
“Trust me, it will be worth it”
Well i am here to say this,
That’s all crap!
What do you know about my life
What works for you,
does not work for me.
They say
“it’s easy”
“just act”
Bullshit!
What is this ‘The Society Pact’.
I am who i am,
no apologies.
No need for a public scene
Just a simple speech,
with some truth
some cries
some lies.
So, no need for a public scene
for my end will not justify your mean.
Burning
Burning
Suffocating
Suffocating
Crying
Crying
Lying
Lying
How funny that i’m not dying.
I manage to stay
I manage breath
I manage to smile,
but i cry underneath.
What is it?
Maybe darkness will be…
forever in me.
Maybe if i suffer
I might actually care
maybe even grow
hell, i might actually be fair.
but Today,
i will not think of the hell in me
i won’t.
Today,
i’ll just watch the sunset.
Today,
i’ll see the birds fly.
Today,
i’ll sit and enjoy the colors of the sky.
Today,
i’ll be okay.
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I really enjoyed reading this piece. I found myself able to connect to multiple parts of the poem, meaning that other people are able to connect to it to. This is a powerful piece of writing. The repetition you used in this poem is very important. The repetition grabs the reader’s attention and acts as a way to tell them to listen to your words. Everything you mentioned in this piece evokes an emotion. As I read this poem, I could sense your frustration.
“Just coldness Just night. ‘Cry’, I might, ‘Lie’, I will.” Night is often cold and lonely. People often struggle with deep emotional feelings during the night. Dark, cold and lonely evenings bring pain to many, and you captured these emotions perfectly. Nights are full of solitude, giving us a chance to cry and let out our emotions. This can be a good and a bad thing. The nighttime offers time for reflection, but it also offers time for obsession.
It is important for humans to focus on the positives; the lights in our lives. There is always good to be seen, and the end of your poem successfully captures this idea. This very poem could be seen as a light to many. “But Today, I will not think of the hell in me i won’t. Today, I’ll just watch the sunset. Today, I’ll see the birds fly. Today, I’ll sit and enjoy the colors of the sky. Today, I’ll be okay.” This ending is extremely important because it acts as a reminder to those going through tough times, that everything will be alright.
Wowwww, Thank you! It feels really good to know that people can relate to this. I appreciate the detailed review, it was spot on. The funny thing is, when i’m writing what i’m feeling , i really don’t know what i’m actually conveying, all the words just seem to be a blur, it just feels good to let it all out. The irony is, when someone else reads your poem and interprets it, then the writer truly understand the meaning behind their own poem.
This poem reminds me of the harsh pressures of life and the demands brought on by the people who feel they know what is best for us when really, they don’t. It is very relatable in that sense. We are forced to choose a path; ours or theirs. But we must remember that they had their chance. Now it is our chance to do whatever it is we want in our lives that make us feel happy or satisfied. If it doesn’t make them happy, well they will learn to live with it. You were right on in this poem. Kendallmccormick is correct. The repetition of words is really helpful, making it really intense. Good job!
Thank you! i am glad you enjoyed it. It really feels good that other people can relate to this feeling of hopelessness and confusion. The feeling of uncertainty towards the future. I realize that i’m not alone, that we all feel this way sometimes , in that sense, it truly does feel like a small world.