January 14, 2018
Sunday Morning
It is cold, cold as shit. I just walked out to the driveway to pick up the Sunday New York Times. I had planned to look at it, pick something hopefully interesting and make snide remarks and maybe even create a bit of comedy for us. However, actually reading the New York Times was not my intention. I have not watched any media or read any published news type crap since November of 2016, seriously. Anyway, when I say us I mean the Ain’t the Dress Rehearsal crowd. I think it’s a moral imperative that we be exclusive and exclude those born before, say, 1968 or so. I have no idea why.
So, then I get this laptop, open it, and here we go. Instead of opening the Word application, I am on the Coastal Living site looking at little Florida beaches. This is the kind of shit that just happens. I think I may have Goggled warm weather places, or something. You can clearly understand how that could happen, try and open an application and accidentally Google little beaches. Again, no idea. Then, I have discovered something on YouTube called Wolfgang’s Library, something or other. Whatever it’s formal name, I sat here and watched these videos of Ronnie Montrose and some guys playing his songs from the 70s. Don’t know exactly but I would say the video I watched was new within several years. Problem with that is almost everything we now see is within a couple of years new. Dammit. Ronnie looks almost exactly like Rod Steiger from Heat of the Night. Shit, double shit. Look it up, swear. But, if you’re anything like me, you will never get there. The laptops and Internet create some sort of warp for the ADHD crowd. Best intentions and all of that you know.
We are now at 220 words, or so, and I have not the faintest idea why I opened up this laptop to begin with. Isn’t that something I can blame on Sunday? That and the fact I have made a solemn oath to produce at 500 words per day. What all of this adds up to is the fact that producing anything creative is hard. Making it funny is harder still. Every once and awhile, I hit something. It’s almost always by shear accident, of that I am sure.
Any (if you exist) of you who have read this blog of mine will know that I am absolutely and psychotically obsessed with age and the number of years it has been since so and so. I mean that’s the whole idea behind This Ain’t the Dress Rehearsal. Ok, I remember now. I was going to reveal some hidden truth about aging and how we should keep a stiff upper lip, remain calm and all that.
So, then I go to YouTube on the big, giant TV I have here in front of me. I found a video of Steve Tyler and Aerosmith doing Sweet Emotion in like 2016 somewhere. Actually, I believe it was Rio for the Olympics. I am not certain about the year and I can’t look it up because of the whole Google misdirection thing. Tyler was born in 1948 and I see him as a victory, an example, and a hero even. Yeah, I know he has his issues but who here among us doesn’t? Saying that just now cued what’s left of my brain, or could be the left side, I forget. I was going to remark on the folks who like to point fingers. You know what Jesus said, don’t you? That “let he who has no sin…” line in the Bible? Well, we can keep this on a philosophical basis only and probably all agree that he nailed it there. Who among us has exhibited perfection, who?
Coming full circle, the point I wanted to make, I think, is to remember that the next time we open our mouth to critisize or judge anyone else. I just don’t believe any of us has enough chips on the table to judge the soapbox derby much less the acts, thoughts or ideas of another person, (I would exclude the criminal sort of things like hurting and killing).
This would be a logical, to me anyway, launching point to talk about the criminal laws we have here now in the Land of the Free. But, as I like to say, I will do something the Devil won’t, leave you alone and shut up.
Cheers.
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It’s so true, forcing yourself to be creative is near impossible. I took a class called “Writer’s Journal,” and we had to fill an entire journal by the end of the semester, in an attempt to force us to write every day. I truly admire anyone who actually filled that purely with original thoughts, because I ended up just transcribing netflix episodes into it.
I hope you met your goal of writing 500 words a day. Even if it’s some random thoughts, it’s better than not writing at all. You’re learning to discipline yourself, and getting into a habit of writing.
This is awesome. Your dialogue feels like I’m actually talking to you when I read it, and I found it humorous because I have severe ADHD and this is exactly what my stream of consciousness is like. I also agree with Lindsay; even writing this, a little something about how to write or struggling with writing, etc. helps turn your creative wheels and get you somewhere.