My light flickers in time with the breaking of my mind bearing the aching of the night my mind wonders how can I go on but I dim with the shadows creeping I can understand why can’t you see my sun is gone I shake with despair I beg pleading for the light tell me how can a dying star be alive
Poetry
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I find this poem so beautiful and poignant. I love how this is a sentence, but at the same time, not because of the convoluted grammatical structure and a lack of period, making it seem as if this thought would stretch on and on and on. I find this sad, yet there is so much hope in the narrator asking, “beg[ging] for the light tell me how can a dying star be alive” and I don’t know why but I find this line so poetic and lovely. Amazing poem and I also love your user name!
This is breath-taking. After reading the first line, I had to stop and consider it for a moment. I’ve always thought light an unmatched force, but the comparison that darkness of night is like an aching burden to the light has left me stunned. I love how the words bleed into each other and the last line seems to trail off – almost as if the words themselves are the dying star.
I really enjoyed reading this piece. It is brief, but powerful. I can feel your despair in your writing. I really like how you connected the sun and light with feelings of hope and positivity.