THE FALL FROM GRACE
As i cried to god with the loss of hope, i screamed, i yelled demanding an answer. Why are they blessed? Why are they first? Why do they live a life of ease? I wondered I pondered I sat with a sence of abandonment. Upset and no one to talk to I blamed him for all my battles all my woes. I fought for you i believed in you i yelled still in total darkness i yelled.why them? Why not me? I yelled. why not me? Silence was all i heard. I cursed and spitted every profanity i have indured i cried as no one would answer. If i was made by you and was given your grace why are they more fortunate than i, i was made to lead by your side i was told you gave me life so that i can be by you and i had a path set by you. Why do you choose them as they direspect your grace your love your gift? Why do they turn away from you and you bless them and i sit here alone? Why? God whyyyyy? Full of anger i curse the sky with hope God hears me. i curse you for the acceptance of my abandonment. I cant understand why?
As i fell to my knees looking up to the heavens with rage and the lust for war. I cried… What did i do if not believe in you and cherish you? What did i do for you to turn away from me and choose them. I cried….
As my heart pounded loudly from my chest… i heard a voice…… BE STILL MY SON….. I NEVER ABANDONED YOU…… YOU HAD TO ENDURE THE MOMENTS OF STRIFE BRCAUSE YOU WERE LOVED THE MOST….. AND IN YOUR HEART YOU STAYED TRUE EVEN THROUGH EACH BATTLE YOU STAYED TRUE…. AS THEY STAY BLIND YOU CAN SEE…… AND IN THIS MOMENT IT IS YOU THAT HAS ABANDONED ME…. SO I WILL ASK YOU BUT ON QUESTION MY SON….. DO YOU NOT THINK THAT THIS IS WHAT THE DEVIL SAID UNTO ME AS HE FELL FROM GRACE?…..
……………. FORGIVE ME FATHER………………. I CRIED