The moment I saw those two pink lines, I knew I’d protect you with everything I’ve got.
The first beat of your heart that I heard on that monitor I knew you took all of mine.
The first time I saw your face on the fuzzy screen I knew I’d kiss it every chance I’d get.
The first time you cried I wished I could comfort you and make it all better.
The first time you looked at me I knew you’d be the most important thing in my life.
The first time you took stood up and took that first step I cried.
The first time you said mama still echos in my head.
The first time I said I love you, I meant it forever.
The first time I told you I love you, I knew it wouldn’t be the last.
I’ve had the pleasure of 2 years of first times…
And I look forward to many more.
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This was so incredibly cute and heartfelt! While I personally am too young to understand the experience of having a child and and loving them unconditionally, this piece certainly offered me a glimpse, and I was beaming the whole time while reading. I like that, over the course of this work, you repeated the phrase “The first time…” at the beginning of each line because it reinforces not only the fact that everything – every milestone – was so new but that everything was invigorating and remarkable and utterly perfect. My favorite line is “The first time you looked at me I knew you’d be the most important thing in my life” because it just completely encompasses the idea of motherhood: as soon as a woman gives birth to a child, that child becomes her whole world – her solace, her pride and joy, her blessing. Truly breath-taking!
I do have an idea for you that I feel would clean up this piece a bit more. Evidently, the title of the work is called “The first time…” and, as I pointed already, you repeat the phrase numerous times throughout it. The only lines where you divert from this formula is in the first two lines, in which start with the phrases “The moment” and “The first beat.” Since you do repeat “The first time” for the majority of the poem, I recommend that you revise the first two lines so that they make use of this literary technique as well:
“The first time I saw those two pink lines, I knew I’d protect you with everything I’ve got.
The first time I heard your heartbeat on that monitor, I knew you took all of mine.”
That way, the repetition is maintained throughout the work and the title is supported even further! (Also, I spotted one error in line 6. You state “The first time you took stood up and took that first step I cried”; I’m sure that you did not mean to have the word “took” there twice in that one sentence and intended to omit the first one.)
But all in all, this was a really great piece about the gift of motherhood and giving birth to a precious child. Great job!