The valley was dark and filled with death,
the men marched forward.
The rivers ran with blood, and smoke choked out the air,
the men marched forward.
The volcanoes spewed their molten rock onto the land,
the men marched forward.
Arrows flew and swords were swung, enemies abound,
the men marched forward.
Their leaders struck down, shamed, and fallen,
the men marched forward.
Their numbers dwindling, bit by bit,
the men marched forward.
Seeing no hope and only despair,
the men marched forward.
Till the last man lost his last breath,
the men marched forward.
Poetry
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I enjoyed reading your piece. The sensory details you used helped me to be able to visualize what you pictured while writing this poem. I like the form you used. It is strategic, but it also looks nice on paper. I also think it is good that you repeated one line many times. This helped to emphasize the meaning of the poem.
Your feedback always brings me a smile! Thank you! đŸ™‚