In a typical middle class neighborhood a man’s looking at the screen typing mindlessly…..
‘What the fuck!’ he said in his head.
He is looking at the screen on his home computer and feeling the writer’s block crumbling before his very mind’s eyeballs ….. oops! It’s only one eye. Uh, yanno, the mind has only one, right? So yeah buddy, get it straight. Okay? Yeah sure anyways …..
The man’s inspiration happened to be right there next to the computer. A statue of this famous fat man in Asia. The man rubbed his big fat head and said, thank you!
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
There’s a planet called Erth. It is exactly like our planet Earth. Except for one difference, it’s got two suns and three moons. That’s all.
Wait a minute!
Sorry about that. Another detail I’ve forgot to put in. Umm. Yes, the planet is a cube. A square. Whatever. A planet with down syndrome. Well anyways, shall we get to the story I haven’t even begun? How rude of me!
There was a farmer named Cain who only grew fields of ganja. It was all good. Everything is everything as they would say in his ‘hood. His hard labor tilling the Erth and planting the seeds soon yielded high profit because it was a high grade! Cain’s favorite unknown Greek God was Jose, the God of Hydro. But one God Cain would never bow to was Nebulouspotter, or Pot for short, for he was a God of dirt. Nobody likes dirt weed. So that’s why Cain despised this other unknown Greek God. Everyday, five times a day towards the east in front of the idol Cain prayed. Thanking the statue in the image of his Lord Jose whose head looked like an owl with a fat man’s body……..
ONE DAY……..
while on his knees praying, prostrated on the sacred ground of his skunky field of dreams, a voice was heard echoing inside the stoned mind of Cain.
“Why do you hate me so much? And love Jose so much?”
“Woah! My crop’s getting stronger and more powerful! Which means I can charge more for the same amount! Thank you, Lord Jose!” Cain joyously chanted.
“You’re not that stoned, Cain. It is I, your hated God, Pot!”
“Oh no! Lord Jose! Why have you forsaken me, m’ lord!” Cain cried his ass off.
“I will not harm you, BELIEVE ME, I just want to know why you hate me so much. And why you love Jose so dearly like lovers? So do please tell me with your own words, why?”
“Because, Jose’s so cool with all his blessings! He is like a God of the sky because he falls like rain. He allows the suns to bless my weed! You see how pretty and potent my crop is! It smells very LOUD! But you! You are nothing but dirt! You’re on the bottom, lowest level! I can’t make money like that! Why I’d be more munchier and die of starvation! That’s damn why, you dirty useless piece of God!” Cain defiantly shouted showing all his yellow and some missing teeth.
“Ahhh. Oh I see. Now I understand your stoned ways. For you’re truly stoned, indeed! Did you know, if it wasn’t for my essence, the dirt, or I as the ground that you’re worshipping on, or this field where your awe-sum crop feeds on, why you’d never be a prophet! Think about it. You can do that can’t you? And here’s the shocking truth …..
I am also
The water
The suns
The moons
The way
The truth
that I flow
I flow IT all in all directions, in all forms, or stop like last drop……….
freeze like ice or ice cream, or disappear like steam, or reappear like rain falling down nourishing your weed …….
I think you know what I am saying. But to be sure, I agree absolutely that seeing is believing. Or a picture is worth a thousands of plagiarized words in too many holey books from Asia Minor like looking up seeing Ursa Major next to Ursa Minor!”
What Cain witnessed :
The statue of the owl headed God Jose turned it’s head 180 degrees.
Like Janus, a Roman God instead of the Greek, it also had two faces on one head.
Nebulouspotter or Pot for short ……
looked like BUD – HA !
Fable
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I really enjoyed this! I genuinely mean it, it was light-hearted but cleaver, you were able to tie the Budha statue (is it Budha? There is also the daruma dolls so I could be wrong) from the opening with the writer into the story he wrote and I think that was really cool. I think it was a really fun read.
Thank you McCarthy, my brother! I’m glad you genuinely enjoyed my little “light bulb.” I had an idea blending all these religions in a microwave oven. Because the idea came at me when I had the munchies, in few seconds ….. hmmm ….. maybe I’m Cain. Well anyway, to answer your question pertaining to whether it was Buddha statue …. you’re correct with your assumptions. Including the doll …. what a surprise! You’ve got a third – eye , bruh! Yeah, I had a picture in my head of a Daruma with the likeness of fat Buddha smiling like he ate some good home cooking like hash brownies, burp! Thank you again, Mick.