These Glasses
-Nivo Fnu
But,
Instead I had compliments… like WHAT??? Then I was called “Harry Potter” but like in a nice way and somehow I felt confident from the glasses.
It really increases my eyesight but did it change me? NO!!… for some reason I didn’t change, I still wanted to change the world for the better; I’m just a kid honestly… I’m not ready for the real world even with these glasses on. At first when I first put them on to go to school, I thought to myself “this glass of mine is going to make me confident and increase my mentality to a whole new level of thought…”
WElP!!
I was wrong. My mentality was still the same (still a kid trying to run away from his parents and be free in the wild)…
I thought these glasses were going to change my physic, mind, and emotions… my connection with people, the environment and the world… it didn’t,,,,,,
All it did was make me see the HD screen of my once gloomy blurry world that I’m used to.
A gloomy world that I was comfortable in, which I was trying to get out of but somehow it pulls me back through every look I take…]
After every blink, every breath, every heart beat… my eyes see HD 4K of my once gloomy world.
I’m just searching.
Searching for a mentality, emotion, and physical connection with myself even if it’s through air… even if it’s an imaginary world I have to create with my hands; with my breath…
A world I can come to realization that I’m smaller than I think I am… a world that isn’t so small… a world not so violent, not so chaotic and cruel…
But these glasses pull me back to that once gloomy world I belong to…
I try so hard to get out but I can’t…
My sense of feelings has dispersed and I can’t grasp the fact,
Whether I truly am LOVING or not…
I never know if what I’m seeing is real or not,
Or what I’m emitting is true itself…
My poor sight leads me to a lack of understanding
Whether anything is even true at all, whether I’m even real, if my feelings,
Emotions, mentality and physical self is even real…
I smile because that’s all I can do…
It’s hard for me to show my truest feelings because I was locked in a room by myself for 17 years
And I’m used to being “BEHAVED” and “OBEYING” and all the above of a robot child…
My poor sight pulls me back and smiling is all I do… my poor sight stops my eyes
From creating a waterfall…
It aches but not a drip comes out, only when I’m in my cell screaming…
I chose my glasses because I wanted to embarrass myself, so I can experience a different life, so I can have an excuse for being in that room…
LOCKED
Poetry
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