Chapter One
Spencer stalked towards me, mouth set into a firm line, breath reeking of alcohol. I was trapped, backed into a corner as he started to undo his belt.
“I don’t like it when you disobey me, Andrea,” he growled, eyes aflame as he slid off his belt, wrapping it around his hand to get a better grip on it. I covered my head with my arms, waiting for the undeniable pain.
I woke as the first blow landed, covered in sweat even though I was only under the sheet. I had done away with my comforter long ago; my mom was always cold, so she kept the house at about eighty degrees at night.
Even though it had been almost two months since Spencer had been arrested, I was still afraid. I still had the nightmares. I still thought he was going to come for me. One day.
My shoulder stung, where he had first hit me that fateful night. The bruises had faded, the cuts almost all scarred over.
That night, almost two months ago, Spencer and I had gone to a party. I got a little tipsy and started dancing with this guy, Jay Bermudas. Spencer saw and was pissed. He drove us to his home to punish me, but before it got too far, one of his neighbors heard me screaming for him to stop and called the police. It should’ve put me at ease that he was in prison, but I just felt even more on-edge than when we were together.
I glanced over at the digital clock on my wooden bedside table. 4:58. Might as well get a head start on getting ready. I threw the sheets off of my sweaty body and clambered out of bed, the hardwood floors cold against my bare feet. I don’t understand how some people sleep with socks. It’s so uncomfortable.
I shuffled across the much-too-big room to my white dresser, getting out the necessary underwear, a pair of ripped jeans, and a cropped hoodie that only showed my stomach if I reached up. I padded over to my en suite bathroom and set the clothes on the counter.
The shower was scalding hot, and I rubbed my skin vigorously, trying to make the feeling of Spencer’s hands on my body go away. Sometimes I would look back on our relationship and see all the good times we had together. Rollerblading, going to the arcade, seeing a drive-in movie, and I missed him. But then I looked at every time he hit me, and I couldn’t help but think, “What did I do wrong?”
I spent over half an hour in the shower, scrubbing until my skin was red hot and my hair felt silky smooth. I turned the shower off and dried my body with a fluffy towel, trying to avoid looking at myself in the wall-long mirror. I knew what I would see.
A girl with scraggly dyed hair, bags under her tired gray eyes, her skin a patchwork of cuts from almost a total of seven years of abuse. Two from Spencer, five from my dad.
What did I do wrong?
A/N: Sorry not much happened, this was mainly just to add backstory to the character. Did I go overboard with the whole Spencer thing? Comment your thoughts!
Realistic Fiction
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This little snippet of your story was very well written and I liked getting the backstory of this character. I think the internal battle that the narrator goes through is done well; it’s a realistic portrayal of an abusive relationship. I would be interested in seeing that back-and-forth in future chapters, of her simultaneously missing him and hating him for what he did to her. The detail about her abuse from her father is interesting as well, and would be an intriguing connection to her relationship with Spencer. The ending is powerful, as asking “What did I do wrong?” really speaks volumes. To answer your question, you did not go overboard with the Spencer situation, in fact, I think their relationship could be explored further, as it will give us a deeper look into who our narrator is. I don’t have any immediate suggestions that I can think of at the moment, but I do have one small grammatical mistake to point out. You say “faithful” night when you mean “fateful” and normally I wouldn’t point out a small mistake like that, but because of what happened that night in the story, this distinction is very important! Otherwise, I cannot catch any faults. Great job!
Thank you so much. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. I did not catch that, but I’ll be sure to go back and change it to “fateful”