I sat back in my chair contemplating what I should write. Suddenly a thought came into my mind…or more like a quote from a book I read. It went something like this…
“Even if you live, die, and live again…you shouldn’t delay relationships that will touch your heart deeply. It always has to be today. A tomorrow without today should not be easily spoken by anyone.”
If there is one thing, I have to say it is that I am afraid of this love. This love that truly matters. Could you possibly love someone so much that you could not part with them? I often feel dull and empty inside, but that I learned to love you keeps me going. Every time I carry it is because I am so alone. Sometimes I’m so done that I wish I could disappear from this world. A world I am not cut out for. There is something wrong with me. Something just does not fit the puzzle.
I should not delay relationships that touch my heart deeply because it always has to be today. Not tomorrow. Not a month later…but today. Without today, I should not look for tomorrow because today I get to think a little more. Dream a little more, and love you from afar just a little more. Because if you live, die, and live again, I am going to wait for you…even if I am afraid of this type of love. This love that truly matters. I am not going to delay relationships that touch my heart deeply because I wanna love you a little more, even if it is just from afar. For this fate is unchangeable…it is inevitable.
It doesn’t matter the path you take, but the outcome will always be the same. That is what they say at least. That you cannot change fate, it comes naturally…but I believed otherwise. Oh, how very foolish of me. How so very foolish for believing in myself. For believing in an uncertain fate, I ended up destroying myself in the process. I destroyed myself by letting myself feel love. Now as I write this all down, I realize how even though this is my fate, I am happy it is going to end up this way. Ironic, right? The person who hated fate ended up embracing fate herself because in the end the only things that matter is today. A today where tomorrow is inevitable. Inevitable like the fate I now hold in my hands.
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