shame from my awkward interactions. young and uneducated. selfish attempts only end with a long, brain dead nap.
life continues, five more years. more self inflicted shame. inward facing anger. projected outward. the noose tightens properly, but, no inspection upon the girder its tied. a simple under sight with a beam snap.
life continues, five more years. devastating decisions made, building stress unbearable. more selfish decisions. life feels so shameful and unworthy. past haunting memories, riddle deep in mind.
quivering hands, cold steel. forethought images distract a long decision. courage rises.
safety click hits louder than any gunfire. shaking stops. untrained realization sets in. three times tried. three times failed.
ill try again in just five more years.