Twilite has watched me cross her grounds before. It is a small, young pine woods on the top of a hill, surrounded by fields, outside my campground. It’s still early enough that the bright Gorgia autumn sun hasn’t yet evaporated the due. My two dogs cause Twilite concern. She’s known of people for a hundred years, and recently, some have wandered through her area without knowledge of her existence. Some people, on the other sides of the fields, walk with small beasts at their side, but mine are the first that have walked across her bed of dried needles. This time, she can see that my intent is different than my previous encroachments. I pause to imagine a line representing her threshold. A short meditation. I stop, take a cleansing breath, in and out, close my eyes and press all thoughts out of my head. Now calm, I open my eyes, and can feel her presence as strong as I had hoped. She can tell I had detected her and welcomes me by generating a breeze. Slim trunks bend, more needles fall. Lucky, the brown Labrador mix is already in her area, across the line, but only a few steps, well within the containment of his leash. He is curious why I stopped but oblivious to Twilite or her realm. Diva, of the same litter, black, 6 years old, is well aware of something but she doesn’t know what. I step across Twilite’s threshold. Diva’s leash becomes taut. She stands firm on the other side of the imagined line. Ears perked, nose high and stiff, eyes pointed directly at nothing. She knows, but knows what?
Twilite is glad of Diva’s insight; however, she expresses to me that she is scared of my beasts. She has seen deer and smaller creatures on her hill, in her pine woods and through her space. None know of her. Twilite is puzzled and wary of this match between people and their pets just as Diva is puzzled and wary of Twilite.
It is a start, a mere acknowledgement of me and her. In a manner of communication, still mostly new to me, we agree this is a start. Twilite lets her guard down. Diva relaxes. My dogs and I will walk through today, as we have done several times before, but now, I and Diva know of Twilite, and Twilite knows we detect her. I commit, in outspoken words, that I would be back soon, without my dogs, and hopefully, we will learn more about each other.
As we leave her space, I can feel the change in atmosphere. I can also feel Twilite’s anxiety regarding the dogs disperse. Surprise to us all, after a few steps we re-intrude into her home, then a few more steps we are out again. I realize that Twilite knows as little as I do about the shape of her area, something which we can use to start our next conversation.
Our walk is completed in typical fashion as the dogs and I return to our cabin. We take two steps up, then enter through a screen door onto the porch. This room is the heart of our home. The door we entered is in the middle of the 40 foot length of the cabin. Directly across the 12 foot width, and after another two steps up, is the door to the inside. Within this 2nd door, is a doggy door, from which Lacy, our 3rd and eldest dog clamors through. As I unleash Diva and Lucky, Lacy sniff them in order to share the scents they’ve collected. Lacy started the walk with us, but her age demands we dropped her back off after a short path and before we set out again on the real journey.
The right side of the porch is a lounge area, a couch with its back to the outside, faces a TV mounted on the outer wall of the main cabin. Matching comfy chairs and end tables fill the area. Fitted between the steps and the lounge is a weight bench. To the left of the stairs is a 4 foot, standing-room-only bar, then beyond that is a large dining room table and chairs (primarily used for game-night), the far end has a porch swing rather than the head-of-household char. A manikin stands just next to the door, in front of the bar, facing to greet guests. My spouse Jamie redresses him periodically to match his mood, the season or any particular event.
Dogs reacquainted and settled, muddy shoes removed, two steps up, through door two and into the kitchen. To the right is a four-stride hallway to the bedroom, cabinets on its right side, bathroom to the left. Jamie is in the shower. I’m wary of how to tell my partner that I’m investigating a spirit I found in the small pinewoods on top of the hill in the middle of the fields.
Cloud cover disguises the sun’s location as the earth spins us toward the end of our day and I return to Twilite’s pine woods. It is still daylight, but I can’t tell how long it will be before dark. I walk the path that goes through Twilite’s space. I want to get to the point of the path, where I walked out, then back into her realm. From there I will do my meditation. Earlier today, she and I became aware of that spot together. I want to take advantage of that shared development to help us start our conversation on equal ground. As I stand on the path, with her area on both sides, I close my eyes, take a deep breath, in and out, push all thoughts out of my head. Opening my eyes, I imagine a line which I’ll step across. First, I check with my mind if Twilite is there, and ask for her admittance. She grants it. I can sense that she is just as eager as me. I step in. There is nothing to see, no door, no walls, no furniture, carpet or drapes. It’s the same pine woods, but I can feel I’m inside, and I can feel Twilite just a few steps ahead of me. Before attempting further communication, I step backward, across the imagined line of her threshold, then I turn around on the path, and step forward, across an opposite threshold. I’m not sure this will go as I think, but I look forward, in the opposite direction I had just seen her, and there she is again. I can feel her surprise. I am quite pleased with myself that I found this fold within the cross of her dimension and mine. She giggles. Is that what it is, a giggle? I had tickled her. I did something that scared her, just a little. But she was already fond of me enough that she trusted that I did not intend to hurt her. Perhaps I’m arrogant. It could very well be that I’m dealing with an entity far superior to me. Maybe I’m a plankton who thinks I’m flirting with the whale that has already eaten me.
With this thought I get dizzy and within seconds that dizziness explodes into a complete loss of control of my muscles. I can sense Twilite’s concern, I believe she feels my fear. Is she really concerned, is she causing my loss of control? I’m grateful for the soft ground of this path, of Twilite’s realm, as I fall with no ability to catch myself. It is not just the gravity of my dimension pushing me down but some force within hers. I twist as I fall, my neck, shoulders, spine, waist, hips, knees, ankles –all of me, twisting and falling into a dizzy, bewildered state. I’m about to hit the ground, hard, and not in a position designed for such a fall.
I wake by Jamie’s voice saying my name with a question, “Bolton?” My body is twisted, but otherwise laid out flat. My shins are down, heels to the air, my hips on their side, right side up, and my shoulder blades to the ground with most weight on my left. My chest slanted, mostly pointed up and my right shoulder slightly off the ground. My left arm is under my back, my right arm is stretched out, palm up. I’m generally fit, but not this flexible. My neck follows the twist of my body, with my face angled toward my outstretched right hand.
I give a grunt in response to Jamie. My head is spinning and has the pressure of a terrible sinus infection. Every muscle in my body aches with a pain stronger than the day after good workout and aiming toward the pain of arthritis. The consistency and symmetry of it all is uncanny, the unique feeling makes the bearable pain almost pleasant.
“What happened?” I manage to say as I slightly roll left, onto my side, to straighten myself. With all good intentions, the dog sniffing, licking and crawling all over me was far more of a hindrance than a help.
“You’ve been gone a couple hours so we came looking for you. Saw The Doctor on the way and he came with us.”
“Hey Buddy. You OK?” Ironically, I can put some blame on The Doctor for my current position. He encouraged me to investigate Twilite starting with the mediation and imagined line-threshold.
They are patient with my response, and I let them wait, as I roll the rest of way onto my stomach, I get my hands under me then take a moment and a breath. I do a push-up then bring my knees in, then slowly stand. Everything functions as normal, including gravity which I had started to doubt. “I think. I don’t know. Can we just get me home for now and talk about it later?”
I brush the dirt and pine needles from my clothes, then rub my hands off each other. There’s add odd texture on my left palm, and I look to see a very strange, new scar. The word “Sorry” is scrolled across the inside of my hand, the “S” under my thumb with the “y” at the base of my middle finger. A red scar in perfectly clear script is about an inch tall. It’s not deep and it looks like it’s been there for a long time, but this is the first I’ve seen it. It is not sore to the touch. After staring at it myself for what may have been a full minute, I turn my hand to show Jamie and The Doctor. We just stand in place sharing a look of astonishment.
I turn toward the camp and realize that I have no sense of Twilite. I make a conscious check. Nothing.
From the The Doctor’s therapists couch –we are actually both sitting in chairs– I face my friend who found me in the pine woods yesterday. Judging by his charming wrinkles he should be gray, and it doesn’t look dyed, so he must have a good hairdresser. His name is Shawn, he has no PhD which he makes clear before he accepts a check. He is a student of Shaminism and his lessons start with a theory written about by Meredith Little and Steven Foster in The Four Shields: The Initiatory Seasons of Human Nature. I initially suggested Jamie see him. Two separate friends gave him high recommendations and I had suggested Jamie see him to discuss life challenges Jamie was having. It didn’t pan out with Jamie, but a few months later, I thought Shawn might be able to help me. I get too frustrated with my job, and I have trouble maintaining good friendships which I think is because I’m not communicating well. So, I thought I’d give The Doctor a try. I was not expecting the introduction into the spirit world.
Many things were discussed in the first two sessions. One thing was my suspicion that there was a ghost in that path through the pine woods. We discussed the meditation steps, and he encouraged me to seek it out.
Today, we spend a few minutes on topics of our time including being “woke”. A lot has changed since our college days. We agree the biggest recent change in society is the awareness of offensive language and actions. For example, the reason COVID shouldn’t be called the China virus. Don’t use black-face at Halloween when you are dressed up as a specific black person. Those who are culturally sensitive and aware of the history of black-face would likely have chosen not to wear it. In 2022, it doesn’t matter if you know the history, society has been instructed through various means not to wear it. Any use of blackface is strictly, socially forbidden. Similarly, the historically common derogatory term for African Americans is so vehemently unacceptable that I am not putting it in print here. Years, ago it wasn’t uncommon to have a friend we might call “my nigga”, but under no circumstances can you use that language now. This conversation started to lead into politics; but we put a stop to it and got back to the mission of this mentoring series, “Discover tools that will help to express myself, listen well, and engage friendships in a fair and balanced manner.”
Realistic Fiction
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